Love Well

Single Awareness Day.

For so many years, this holiday we celebrate was dreaded. I saw it creep up on the calendar and it mocked me. It was a day that I just wanted to get through. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I told my dad not to send me flowers to work because it would make a scene. I wanted to skip the embarrassment of being single. The first time I heard this holiday called “Single Awareness Day”, I was sitting at church, alone. And, it made me laugh. It’s so true. If you have never been single on Valentine’s Day, then you have no idea what I’m talking about. But, if you have, then you know exactly what I mean. It’s like you have a huge sign on your forehead that reads, “please feel sorry for me b/c everyone knows that no one “loves” me today”. You have no date. You aren’t invited to parties. And, even churches host dinners that you must be a couple in order to attend. It’s very apparent that you are, in fact, single.

But the truth is, the longer I’m married the more couples I meet who do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Some husbands think it’s a waste of money and that it’s a gimmick for companies to make money. Some aren’t happily married and just want the day to go away so they don’t have to feel like all the hearts are rubbing it their face that their relationship is a failure. Some are like me and just don’t want to stand in line for dinner or drop hundreds of dollars to know my husband loves me. And, some are like my husband who thinks that he should love me well everyday and not just specifically on a day that society tells him he should. 

What we all have in common is that we each want to be noticed and loved.

No matter the situation, feeling left out is unbearable. It makes you feel like no one wants you. We all want to be wanted, sought after, longed for. We all want someone to think we are a big deal. 

For us, Valentine’s has evolved. Our first Valentine’s Day we were dating, I made the mistake of telling KP that I don’t care about celebrating the holiay. What I really meant was that I don’t want to celebrate it the way society tells we should: reservations, long lines at restaurants for over-priced food, flowers that the florist has raised the price on just b/c its Valentine’s Day, or expensive gifts (because we seriously just had Christmas). My poor husband took that to mean, “Awesome! My wife doesn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, so it’s just going to be like a regular, normal day.” What I didn’t realize is that he would just ignore the day completely. So, after a few years of trial and communication (I don’t see any part of it as “error”), I think we have figured it out. 

Well, he has figured me out. 

I love holidays. Any holiday (except Halloween). So I want to celebrate every holiday in some fashion. For me Valentine’s is making Cream Cajun Chicken Pasta and KP’s favorite cheesecake and having a quiet night at home. It means cards and boxes of candy. It means recognizing our love and making a big deal out of each other.

This day looks differently for everyone. Whatever it’s been in the past, we can each start this year by making the most of it because ultimately, shouldn’t we be loving all people well?

I wish I had looked for ways to love well. The world is full of people hurting and who just want to be noticed and loved. You may not realize, but there are people walking around avoiding eye-contact because they don’t want anyone to recognize that they feel unloved. There are those that will put on a smile and act like today is no different than any other, but deep down they truly want someone to make a big deal out of them. This year, I incorporated small gestures for those I love. Today isn’t just about celebrating KP and me; it’s about celebrating all the people I love. Taking an extra step to show them and maybe even make them feel like they are a “big deal” to me. 

Married women, I want you to know that there are singles out there longing to be noticed. Taking them to lunch or buying them a coffee will make their day. A card could possibly relieve some tension of the “single awareness”. Love them well. 

Singles, there are married women who have husbands that think today is Hallmark’s way of making money. They long to be noticed as much as you do. An animated Valentine with a sucker can change their day and give them hope. Love them well. 

Whether you are a hopeless romantic and absolutely LOVE today, or you are someone just trying to make it through the day, I encourage you to look around. Love the people God puts in your path today. Even if it’s the smallest gesture, like a smile, it can make someone’s day. 

I love that KP celebrates this holiday just because I want to celebrate it. But, what I love more is that he wants to love me well every single day. It’s more important for him to love me daily and not just make me a big deal on a holiday. It’s something that I can learn from. It’s more important to celebrate love every day. Loving others sets us apart from the world so that Jesus is seen in our lives and is glorified.

No matter what today holds for you, you can be thankful for a God who pursues you. The God who loved you so much, He sent His own Son to take your place. He gave each of us life! He loves so perfectly we can’t even comprehend the depth of it. 

You are lovable. You are treasured. You are precious. You are loved. 

Because you know this, go out and love well.