Push Past the Exit

As I’m doing a one-legged side-plank in yoga today, I noticed the bright red “exit” sign just glaring at me. In the moment, I wanted to stand up and walk out b/c I was tired and in pain. Walking out the door would have been much easier than finishing the class. Especially since I was only 15 minutes into it.

All too often in life, we want to take the easy “exit” that is glaring at us in bright neon. Something that will give us instant, gratifying rest from this life. Something that will ease the pain. 

In yoga, I concentrate on the results. They may not always be instantaneous, but there are results. But, sometimes I don’t care about the results and I just want to quit. On those days, I repeat, “from strength to strength”. I do this b/c it helps me remember that God is carrying me from a strength I built yesterday, to a new one I am building today.

Life is the same. When I face trials, I concentrate on the result: to be more like Christ. But some days that’s just not enough for my fleshful mind to wrap itself around. That’s when I have to remind myself that God is taking me from strength to strength. Something I couldn’t do a year ago (saying “no” to a cupcake), I have overcome today. What I am struggling with today, in His strength, I will overcome tomorrow. 

There will always be an “exit” sign. But if we quit and take the easy way out, we miss out on becoming stronger in our faith and allowing God to use us for His glory!

A New Year

Its almost half way through January and I'm just sitting to write this. Its not that I'm "behind", just that I haven't really had the words. I've been mulling over this topic since sometime in December and I'm still not sure how to start or finish. So, I'm just going to start...

Every new year, I find myself trying to come up with ways to be an incredible blogger. To use it as a ministry and write to help others. Then it just ends up being a "scrapbook" of sorts telling everyone what has hapened each month or new recipes or photo-shoots I've done...and occassionally having a blog worth reading, that is more along the lines of how I want to write. Even my "tradition" of 30 Days of Thankfulness didn't get finished this year.

In December, I started really evaluating why I blog and if its something I want to even do anymore. I so enjoy reading other blogs, but this last year it has been a chore to keep up with mine. I realized I don't have to blog to read others. I just feel defeated every year when I look back at my blog. I'm not a photog blogger, even though I'd love to carry my camera around and document every little thing I do. I'm not a mommy-blogger. I'm not a food blogger. And, I'm not a ministry blogger. I realized I use it just to scrapbook my life.

I enjoy the "scrapbook" aspect of it because I used to REALLY scrapbook. Blogging makes it easier b/c downloading pictures is much easier and cost-efficient. Plus, I can write and describe more of what is going on than scrapbooking really allows. Plus, with the invention of Shutterfly, I ever need to print, cut, sticker, or assemble pictures again. I love that I was able to use the blog to "scrapbook" every detail of my wedding and all the planning, but I'm not sure scrapbooking is something that I'm willing to continue blogging for.

Now I had the question looming, "Do I want to keep blogging or just give it up?"

Its hard to give something up that I've enjoyed in the past. But, if I continued, I wanted to be able to write and be real and talk about tough topics. I wanted it to be ministry! However, at this time in our lives, this isn't possible for me. There are some topics and life changes that have occurred that just aren't making the blog. I wish that I could be completely transparent on here like so many bloggers are, but I don't know how to do that and be respectful of people in my life. So for now, I'm having to let that go.

To release the inner-writer in me, I've picked up journaling again. Its a way that I can truly write out what I want to talk about that is a more private setting. Its not touching peoples' lives like I would want it to, but maybe there will come a day when God calls me to use it.

I truly feel called to ministry and am seeking God on how that will look and His timing. I've had the desire to blog to "make a difference" until He was ready to do more with me. However, I now know that this isn't where He wants me to use my voice. I think so many of us women just want to have purpose and to leave a legacy. We struggle to find that niche. It looks different for us all. And, I'm learning that I am not called to be like my favorite bloggers. I see them touching lives and I want to be there too, but the blogging world isn't my niche.

As of right now, I'm not turning my blog "off". I just see it differently. I may not blog every month. I may not have interesting blogs. I may blog just for me. I may post a million pictures of my sweet puppies. And, there may be times that I actually blog something that is meaningful. But, as 2013 begins, I've come to terms that this isn't a place for me to be transparent. It makes me a little sad b/c if you know me at all, you know I'm brutally honest about my life. I love sharing my life in hopes that it might help just one person. I've come to terms that God has a specific place for that and its not through blogging.

The hardest part for me is to sit in a "holding patter". In limbo. In a "waiting room" (awesome sermon...take a listen!). I want to be making a difference, but I know that I don't need to CREATE my own circumstances of ministry, but get to work where God has me right now. I need to seek ministry where I am, not create what I want it to look like. The ministry God is calling me to is not to blog to thousands of women that I may never meet, but to be seeking out the handful that are around me right now.

As I start this new year, I'm going to be looking for where God wants me to serve and not trying to make something work in an area that I think I should be doing ministry. I want to refocus my desire to where He wants me and not where I selfishly want to be. So, I will get to work in my "waiting room".

Grateful

Do you ever just want to cry because you are so amazed and humbled by what God is doing in your life? That’s how I feel today. Its not anything that is a dramatic life change, but as I look around at all the small things, I get emotionally overwhelmed as I get the privilege of seeing Him move and work. KP’s new job becoming established, new friends, being reunited with old friends, building stronger relationships with other couples, technology allowing us to be a part of churches across the country, incredible mentors, workout routines we both love, girls I am blessed to mentor, friends’ kids that mean the world to us, season tickets to the ballet (I’ve always wanted this), KP loving to travel and try new places as much as I do, our two dogs (who are out “kids”), walking out on my deck every morning and getting to see God's incredible creation.

The crazy thing is that instead of enjoying where God has me, I question it. My insecurities get the better of me and start questioning if all of these blessings are really “real”. Or I start focusing on what we don't have. Being in a place of constant contentment is hard. There are so many things that we want and it can be overwhelming when I dwell on them. I'm learning that the things that we don't have are things that God knows we don't need at this moment in our life. His plan is always better and greater. I love that He knows our hearts better than we do and will always give us His best.

Today, I'm thankful that all the amazing things He has given us lead me to a place of contentment. A place where I can be happy in this moment.

Trials

Michelle and I had big plans for craft weekend. In the beginning of our "dreaming" about this event, we wanted to have devotionals, quiet times, and maybe even an early morning workout (Zumba or Yoga). When we finally decided on the date, we realized the week before the event that we hadn't planned any of those. I was determined to at least have a devotional. I sat down one day with an idea in mind. I wanted it to revolve around "crafts" so I thought I could do a devo on being "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139) and that we are each a masterpeice to our Creator. However, as I started writing, it was very clear to me that I was forcing the topic. I had my points and thought I'd come back later and finish it.

A few days before craft weekend, God laid on my heart to change the topic completely. I kept hearing the same verses over and over again in my life through bible studies, sermons, K-LOVE, and facebook posts. I decided that if this was something I was needing to hear, then there were probably other women that were coming to the event that needed to hear it as well. So, here is the devotional I used at Craft Weekend.

________________________________________________________________________________

Michelle and I came across many trials in preparing for craft weekend. Most of them were ideas that just didn't play out the way we were expecting them to. We had so much fun planning, but it showed me that trials can arise in even in the good times and events that we face in life.

Some of us faced trials as we did certain crafts (the wreath). Even though we were all doing the same thing, we each face it differently. Because we are each unique, we do life differently as well. We have different personalities, different backgrounds, different experiences, and those differences shape us into who we are and how we do life.

One thing we can know is that we WILL face trials. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, WHEN you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance (patience). And let endurance have it perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." And, 1 Peter 4:12-13 also tells us, "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing has happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy."

It shouldn't surprise us when we face trials. So, what should we do?
~Consider it all joy!
~Rejoice~

What? Seriously? There are just somethings that seem impossible to rejoice in or consider them joy, right?

Ok, so WHY should we consider trials joy or rejoice in them?
~We get to experience a portion of Christ's suffering
~They produce endurance or patience - leading us to a place of lacking NOTHING!

Trials then make us more like Christ.

When we face the hard things in life, we have to teach and condition ourselves to have this eternal perspective. This isn't something that comes naturally to us as humans, so we have to condition our response to be like Christ!

In becoming more like Christ, we glorify His name more and then people begin to see that we are different. Then we have more opportunity to lead people to Christ.

Our trials can take a toll on us. They can tear us down and the enemy loves to do whatever he can to take our eyes off the Lord. However, we have to rememeber that what the enemy meant for evil, God always makes good! Romans 8:28 tells us, "And, we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

He's not asking us to be perfect in our response. To never fail. We will fail. We're human - we won't alwasy act exactly how we should in the face of trials. And, that's okay! Its okay to show weakness. In fact, its purposed that way. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul has been facing a constant trial in his life and God says this to Paul, "And He [God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness'. Therefore most gladly I [Paul] will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

If we go through a trial and we are no more like Christ at the end, then we went through it for nothing! If we don't let people see our weaknesses so that we can proclaim God's power, then we went through those trials for nothing!!!

So, what are we struggling with?
~loss of a job
~things at work
~things going on at your husband's job
~living paycheck to paycheck
~feelings of not being good enough (as a wife, mom, friend, daughter, etc)
~feelings of other women have "it together" and you don't
~comparing yourself, your kids, your husband, your life to other people
~struggling with lies - "bad mom", "bad wife", or "God doesn't love me enough to give me _____"

Stop letting the defeat you!!! You are a child of God! We live in a fallen world. Bad things are going to happen! Satan will do whatever it takes to make you miss God's purpose for your life - or just doing that purpose well. For example, not being present in your life, wishing for the next "season", or or just anything the enemy can to take your eyes off what God IS doing in this season.

Here is what God WILL do:
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me [Jesus], because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty from ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." ~Isaiah 61:1-3.

He heals the brokenhearted! He frees the captives! He sets prisoners free! He comforts those who mourn! He gives beauty from the ashes! He brings joy to mourning! He gives a covering of praise when their is heaviness! These shall be trees of righteousness!!! Because these glorify God!

My encouragement for you is from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 - "Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

Do not lose heart! What we see in this life is temporary and what we cannot see is eternal. Glorify God in the trials and He will prove His faithfulness. We must have an eternal perspective!

And, we need to remember that we, as believers, do this life together! We need to start being unified and not tear each other down. We have to stop comparing ourselves to one another and start sharing the load. Galatians 6 tells us that we need to be sharing our burdens with other believers.

We all are facing some sort of trial. Choose a one or two women to share your trial with. Choose to mentor younger women with what you've been through. In your weaknesses, God is glorified!

Let's love one another through this life so that the Body of Christ will live in unity (Colossians 3:14).

Love and Forgiveness

Peter Ustinov - “Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”

I think we believe that people should never hurt us. Especially those who say they love us. However, they are fallen and sinful. Everyday. Not just when they do something you don’t like, but every single day every person is sinful. Each of us needs constant forgiveness. And, each of us needs to constantly be forgiving.

Why do we hold people to a list of rules that is impossible to keep? Do we want others to treat us the same way? I don’t. I would love if all people looked on me with forgiveness and grace b/c I am messy!

When we read Scripture and truly look at who Christ is, we see constant love and forgiveness. He didn't surround himself with those who claimed to know so much about religion, but with imperfect people. He loved and forgave the tax-collectors, the prostitutes, the woman at the well who had been married multiple times, the doubters, the smelly fishermen, the people society would consider the "lowest of the low". He is love.

Its impossible for us to love others in our own power because we are sinful and fallen just as they are. However, we can pray and ask God to let His love shine through us as and "endless act of forgiveness". Can you imagine if every believer would offer ENDLESS acts of forgiveness??? Oh, the glory that God would receive!!! The people that would actually desire to know Him!

My encouragement is that all of us would prayerfully ask the Lord for His love to reign in our lives. To love the unlovable. To forgive those that have hurt us. To portray Christ who loved, forgave and saved us!  The more we choose to be like Christ, the more compassion we will have for others and, hopefully, it will become "habit".

How My Dogs Gave Me New Perspective

My dogs taught me something this morning.

Ken usually has the job of taking care of them in the morning b/c he gets up as I'm leaving for work. I realized this morning that its a HUGE blessing b/c I am able to sleepily walk through the house, get some coffee and sit down with my Bible in the dimly lit, QUIET, coziness of our home. There's just something beautiful about being up in a house as people are still sleeping.

This morning, my hubs had to be out the door at 6am for work, so I was left with the munchkins. Now, I usually do take care of them on Fridays which is my day off. I learned today that taking care of them when I don't have anywhere to be, at a certain time, is MUCH easier!!!!

Ruger is pretty good about going outside and taking care of business. Rossi...not so much. She is a wanderer. AND, she has a serious case of A.D.D. She can be sniffing out something and see a leaf which takes her of the scent-trail, but then completely forget the leaf b/c a butterfly flew by. Wears me out when I just need her to go to the bathroom. When she was new to our house, she was really tempted to run to our neighbors b/c they are so much more interesting than us. We have a horticulturalist on one side and across the street are cattle and a donkey. Thankfully, the temptation to RUN has passed, but now she just stands there and stares FOREVER!!! Most of you might be asking why I stay outside with them. We don't have a fenced yard. Which I have never minded, but this pup needs some stinkin' boundaries!!! Okay...its just me that needs her to have a giant pack-n-play!

After my 3rd trip outside with the dogs, I had finally secured Rossi in her crate, Ruger was ready for his all-day-nap and I was thankful to be getting out the door. As I sat in the truck, I just sighed out of huge relief that my morning at home was over! I haven't fully appreciated my husband and what he does every morning.

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom (God willing!), but today I had a few doubts. I realized that I now understand a woman's desire to work and get out of the house to be around adults! I completely agree! However, I also realized that the mornings that I don't have anywhere to be are not this chaotic. So, I decided that I would be "okay" staying at home if we are blessed with kids.

I text my husband a quick note to tell him how much I appreciate what he does every morning...his response? "Some days are better than others". Spoken like a true parent. :)

On the drive to work, I found myself appreciating both "moms": the stay-at-home moms and the working moms. Both of their jobs are hard. This post really isn't about moms and which one is better than the other (Its sad to me that women even debate this between themselves. God gives all of us a calling. No one should make anyone else feel bad or guilty about where God has called them). What I did learn is that the reason this morning was so chaotic to me is b/c I was trying to get my dogs to function and act like I do when I get ready for work. I wanted them to do exactly what I wanted them to do and to be selfless. I wanted them to have me in mind and what I needed to do today. I expected them to change their normal, everyday behavior to accommodate me.

While I know I'm talking about dogs and they don't even understand what I'm saying to them (they do understand my husband who we refer to as the "dog-whisperer"...seriously, they understand every single word he says!!! He has conversations with them...and they listen! Its weird!) and, of course, they are on their own time and terms. It did start me thinking. Why would I expect them to hurry through their normal, daily routine when they don't have to any other day?

Then I thought, "Why do I expect other people to change who they are to make me more comfortable?"

Its not fair for me to want anyone to function the way that I do. No one likes to be told how to act or do life. This goes for all the people we encounter. The people we work with. The people we are behind in line at Walmart. The car in front of us that is going 10 miles UNDER the speed limit.

Putting expectations on other people so that I can function the way that I like to isn't how I should be presenting Christ. I'm basically saying that I'm entitled to get my way. I want people to do ______ so that my life is easier. What I should be is others-focused. My life should be lived out as, "What can I be doing to make Christ more apparent?". Serving.

Thankfully, I did allot time for my dogs this morning. Last night before heading to bed, I knew that their routine was going to take time away from my regular routine. Its important to factor other people and circumstances into our day so that we aren't angry and frustrated. When emotions take over, people don't see God's love in us.

I'm challenging myself to be patient with others. Love them regardless of their actions. If I need to take a moment or get up and walk away, that's okay, but I do want them to see me as different from others. I want them to see that the difference is Christ in my life.

So, just like the mornings that I don't have any place to be and there are no expectations on my dogs' behavior: Life can be a lot smoother when we don't put our expectations on people and expect them to perform in a way that is normal "me".

The Living

Sunday morning arrived, the women went to tend to Jesus' body. When they arrived at the tomb, the stone was rolled back and the body was gone. While they were trying to figure out what had happened, two men in gleaming white appeared to the women and asked, "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here. He is risen!". At this the women remembered what Christ had told them: that He would be delivered into the hands of sinners, be crucified, and be raised from the dead on the third day. (Luke 24:1-8)

I can imagine that the women panicked when they saw the body was gone. Maybe wondering if it had been stolen. It wasn't until after they had seen the angels that they remembered the words Jesus had told them.

Isn't our life like this sometimes? We seek all the worldly things that are dead (drugs, alcohol, sex, food, relationships, etc) to give us hope and life. But, the only thing that brings life is Jesus, who is ALIVE!

All too often, we forget what His word tells us. We aimlessly walk around in our lives disappointed by circumstances, frustrated by our sin, enslaved to strongholds. When we remember the words that He has said, everything makes sense. He is the Truth! And the Truth will set you free!

He frees us from death, eternal separation from Him. He frees us from bondage to sin. He frees us from unforgiveness and hurt. Its time that we stop seeking LIFE among this dead world! And, for us to engulf ourselves in the Word so that we know exactly what God says to us.

My prayer for you all is that you realize the gospel and believe that Christ chose to die for you! Then conquered death and rose on the 3rd day. He did this so that we can spend eternity in His presence.

Praise the Lord for his grace!!!

Happy Resurrection Day to you all!

The Quiet

Have you ever lost someone you loved? Do you remember how it felt? The few times I can think of take me back to a place of entrapment. You can't make the pain go away. Its all-consuming. It can take your breath away.

I can't help but wonder what Mary, Jesus' mother, and all the disciples were going through the day after Jesus' crucifixion. It was the Sabbath and they weren't allowed to do any work. So the women couldn't busy themselves in the kitchen and the men couldn't work around their homes. They would keep the Sabbath holy. Attend "church". Be at home with their family.

My first thought was "did they sleep all day?" That's what I do. When I am so upset by something, I sleep. I sleep b/c it takes the pain away. Unfortunately, when I wake up, it always feels like I had been punched in the stomach...so I would try to fall back asleep.

Some of you might do the opposite. Sometimes when things consume our life, our minds won't shut off so sleep becomes something you long for, but just doesn't come.

Some of us, spend time in prayer. On our knees desperate for God to answer us quickly. Wanting so badly for Him to stop the pain and make it go away.

I can only imagine that each of the disciples, Mary, and whoever else was close to Christ handled the loss in their own way. However, I have to also imagine that they sat at home counting the minutes for that 3rd day to arrive. I can imagine that the homes were filled with silence. With anticipation. With hope. And, maybe a little fear. After all, they were human...and who among us doesn't doubt God just a little every once in a while?

I can imagine that it was the longest day of their life!

Sitting on this side...we know what tomorrow brings!

Chaos

A betrayal.

An arrest.

Multiple trials.

The sentence.

The beating.

The mocking.

A crown made out of thorns shoved into place.

Carrying a cross that should have been mine.

Nails driven into hands and feet.

Being hung on a cross, in public humiliation, to die.

This wasn't something that the Jews did to Jesus. This was something Christ did so that I could spend eternity with Him. In one moment, He took all the sin - of every single person - upon Himself so that we could be reconciled to God. His blood was shed for me and for you. Jesus, who was 100% God, humbled Himself to walk this earth as a man (not losing any of his diety) so that He could pay for our sin. The ultimate sacrifice.

Think about it. Would you be willing to die for someone? Most parents would die for their children in a heartbeat. But, would you be willing to die for someone that commited a crime and they deserved punishment? That is what Christ did for all of us.

Salvation is through faith. Faith that Jesus came to this world and lived a sinless life, that He died on the cross for my sin, was buried and rose on the third day...conquering all sin. We can have eternal life with Him if we believe that we are sinners and that His sacrifice is the only way to heaven. Not by anything that we do, but everything that He did.

In the movie "Courageous", they give one of the best analogies I've heard. Think of someone you love with all your heart. What if they were brutally murdered? The murderer stands in front of judge and apologizes for the wrong-doing. He asks the judge to let him go and not punish him b/c he is sorry and has lived a really good life up to this point. The judge looks at the murderer and says, "I can't do that. If I am truly a just and good judge, then I have to punish you for the crime you commited, even if its the only one."

This is God in our lives. He a just and good God. Not one of us is sinless! We can never be "good enough". Our good deeds can never outweigh the bad b/c one sin separates us from Him.

Its humbling to think of how awesome grace is. Salvation is something we don't deserve, yet Christ paid the price for every one of us. All you have to do is believe that His death and resurrection are the payment for your sin. Believe that God took your place.

The chaos of the day ended in grief for those who loved Jesus. Sadness for those who may not have known Him personally while He walked the earth, but because they had hoped He might truly be the Messiah. Satisfaction for all the people who were out to prove Him wrong.

The chaos of that day ended with me on His mind. With you on His mind. He died for you and for me. I challenge you to take some time today to truly think about what Christ went through. And, to humbly remember that you were on his mind.

Don't lose hope....Sunday is coming!

{w}hole

About a week ago, I had the chance to re-connect with a long-time family friend. Her dad was our pastor when I was little and our parents became friends. She was my brother's age, so I didn't really hang out with them too much. It was fun to talk with her and get to know her better. I'm excited to share her with all of you!

Meet Lisa Whittle. She is an incredible author! Her heart is for people to have an authentic relationship with the Lord! Her new book is called {w}hole. I haven't quite finished it yet, but love it already. I love that she is straight-forward, direct, enouraging and loving. We each have a story. So many of us believe that our story isn't worthy to share, but Lisa takes you on a journey to show you that your story IS important and is probably a little different than you think. I encourage you to check our her website and blog, where you can also find out information about her book and if she'll be speaking close to your hometown.

Legacy Continues

My blog is lacking. I feel like I have so much to say, yet when I actually sit down to blog, I have nothing. Its hard to set boundaries in the blog-world. I've always been an open-book to those close to me, but learning to censor here has been a challenge. Being married has changed it as well. Not negatively, just differently. I can't just think about myself when writing. I have to respect that my life intertwines with my husbands and that he may not want our life plastered all over the bloggerland. :)

I used to be able to sit and write about what God was doing in my life or what I was learning. I've questioned if I'm learning enough since I can't seem to find things to blog about. My blog seems boring to me b/c its all pictures and events. Not what my purpose was when I started this little thing. I can't even seem to make the "day-to-day" meaningful. I learn something every single day. God has made Himself known to me in a completely different way than ever before. It seems that in different seasons of my life God reveals, in detail, one of His character traits. While His character is always sufficient, consistent, and present, there seems to be one trait that He really plants in my life at just the right time.

In the last few years, God has really been showing me just how BIG He is. I had him contained in my little life and didn't really give Him credit for handling the "big" things. I don't remember really being a worrier as I grew up or became an adult, but in the last few years, I've definitely seen that I worry about the "unknown". Things in the future that may or may not even happen. I worry. When we first got married, I worried so much that it kept me from sleep. The story will seem ridiculous to most:

We live in the country. I have a French Bulldog that I'm madly in love with; His name is Ruger. Ruger was ecstatic to move to the country!!! He actually moved out there before I did b/c I put my house on the market and it was just easier to have him where we live now so people could come see my old house anytime. I didn't worry about him at all. After we were married, I would lay in bed at night terrified that if I had to take him out in the middle of the night, a giant coyote would speed through the yard, snatch Ruger in his giant mouth and run off with him. Ridiculous? Yes! However, I could not sleep! The thought of losing Ruger kept me awake (we do NOT need children if I'm like this with my dog!).

Not only did God teach me that He is my Prince of Peace, but also that He is big enough to handle anything that I worry about. There is a constant list of things that run through my head (when I allow it) that I can worry about. Things I can't change. Things that haven't happened yet. Things that may NEVER happen. I paralyze my life by worrying.

I remember driving home from work one day when God got my attention. It wasn't anything major, but music speaks to me and He knows this. Chris Tomlin's "Our God" was playing. I love Chris Tomlin's music and usually have it turned up anyway. For some reason, the words really got me:

"Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other.
Our God is healer, awesome in power
Our God! Our God!"

In that moment, God reminded me that He alone is GREATER and STRONGER than anything I could ever worry about. He's bigger than my problems. He's bigger than my trials. He's bigger than my circumstances. He's bigger than my hurt. He's bigger than any person. He's bigger than any church. He's bigger than my future! There is no need to worry about the "what ifs" b/c I may not be big or strong enough to handle what comes, but He is!

In the last month, God has once again been teaching me how big He is. I work closely with college students and see them most days of the week. This is definitely a different generation (I'm sure every generation says this about the one following). As with any generation, they have strengths and weaknesses. However, what I see is a generation that needs Christ more than ever! We are in a time that every sinful lust is over-amplified, justified and taken advantage of at every possible encounter. They need Jesus. My heart hurts for them in how badly they must be hurting. The voids that they must be trying to fill. The abuse, disappointment, pain, and abandonment they must have endured. I worry that the world is eating them up and that God is becoming obsolete. They don't "need" Him, nor do they want Him. A lot believe that organized religion is for the weak. They don't want to live by all the "rules". God's ways aren't "fun". Christians are close-minded and are hypocrites. This is what so many people believe. I was worried.

Towards the end of "Code Orange Revival", that we did last month, God showed me that He can take care of Himself. :) We saw 12 pastors take the stage and preach the Word. I was able to see this new generation praising Him and making a decision to follow Him. One of my favorite sermons was by Bishop T.D. Jakes. At one point He talks about how God is healing one generation and raising up the next. In that moment, I realized that God is STILL the same God of yesterday! He will make His name known in the next generation. Church isn't going to look the same as our parents have seen it, but God is making His name known!!! This generation of Believers will not go quietly! It excites me just thinking about it!!!

This sermon reminded me just how small minded I can be. I limited God's power and ability to make His name known in the ages to come. As if this era is "hard" for Him or that He is "lost or confused" by it! HA! To think the world begins and ends with my life. My worrying made evident to me that I didn't trust or believe that God would take care of those that will take our place. Sometimes we get so caught up by what we can see in front of our face that we forget that God's thoughts and ways are higher than our own. I always tell people that children believe their parents didn't exist before their little life began. Its true. They don't understand lineage for a long time (my dad still tries to get some of my nieces and nephews to understand that I'm his "little girl"), they don't ever think the parent had a life filled with dreams, adventure, love, pain, sadness, regret, celebrations, excitement, etc. That's how we think about this big world most of the time. We see what God is doing around us NOW and when that isn't working for the next generation, we worry about God's legacy!

God is so much bigger and greater and has already gone before me. Its a waste of time and energy to worry about the things that are His to take care of! Instead of trying to "fix" everything, my focus needs to be on ministry and serving Him wherever He calls me. To not forget His faithfulness in the past and use it as a reminder that He will be faithful in the future!

Where in your life do you need to be reminded that God is BIGGER?

My Nephew's Poem

My incredible nephew, Mason, had a to write a poem for school and his thought was if he was going to have to do poetry, he might as well write about his God! LOVE IT! I enjoy getting to watch him grow up and have a heart for the Lord. Its an incredible experience to see God bring up the next generation! Here is his completed poem:

My awesome God who created me
Who died for us so we could see,
The Glory that will soon come.
Into Your arms where I will run.
In Your name, we try to shine.
Because of You, this is why I rhyme.
Dead as a nail, You hung upon the cross.
And all the people thought we lost.
A new beginning for us to see,
It was all for me, her and he.
Day by day, I know You’re to love
As I look up and try to see Heaven above.
I play for You in all I do,
All for You, because I know You’re true.
You’re the sun that shines among us all.
You’re straight forward, You don’t try to stall.
Because of You, the stars dance.
I jump for You, I sing, I prance.
That’s why I say we should give God glory.
To everyone, we should tell Your story.
All I say is in Your arms I will run
And know the glory that will soon come.
I wait for You, and hope to see,
My awesome God who created me.

Lately

I've been pretty quiet on the blog the last week. We've been busy with a good old fashion revival! Well, maybe not so "old fashion". I've been CRAVING the Word lately. Craving to grow like I have in the past. For years, I've thought about how much I loved those revivals in our Southern Baptist churches. I loved having guest pastors come to my church and teach for a week. It was always so encouraging and motivated my walk.

This revival fell in our laps! It was a complete God-thing! A friend of mine had just finished reading Steven Furtick's book, "Sun Stand Still". From there, she started listening to his pod-casts and watching his sermons online. This is where she came across the "Code Orange Revival". She and her husband decided to open their homes for 12 nights!!!! TWELVE!!! What a blessing they are to clear their schedules so that we can meet in the name of the Lord! We've all laughed b/c this is actually their busiest season. God completely cleared their calendar knowing this was going to move people and be life-changing.

We just finished night 7. I'm so sad that we only have 5 nights left. The teaching has been incredible! The Holy Spirit moving has been life-changing! The worship has been awesome! The fellowship has been like water to our soul! The encouragement in our spiritual growth has left me speechless! God is so good!

I'm not quite sure what next week is going to be like. Ha! I know its probably going to be a little bit of a "downer". The fellowship with friends every single night has been so fun! We've all even chipped in and cooked different nights. However, having some incredible teaching every single night is a huge blessing!!!!

Let's go back to the "old fashion" part. This is not your typical revival! Its been amped up!!! The worship is current and amazing! There's hymns, some praise and worship music from about 10 years ago, and lots of contemporary music as well. Night 6 was an entire night of just worshiping THE true God! Israel Houghton was there and rocked the house! AWESOME! The preaching? Oh my word!!! Its off the charts! Seriously!!! There has been a different pastor every single night! Incredible the passion and love for people they have...the love for the Lord...and their desire to see people come to the foot of the cross! Come to know their Savior!

My plan is to blog a little about each night and what we've been learning. There's so much, but its so good that I just have to share.

With all of that said, I just want to sign off with a picture. I was told that I could post a picture on the blog, but I was not allowed to make a big deal about this. So, I'm not making a big deal...but I'm super PROUD! Enjoy your week!!!!

This Christmas

Things I've been praying for the last few weeks.

~people who are living paycheck to paycheck and can't give their family the Christmas they really want.

~people who are enslaved to debt and having to put everything on a credit card this Christmas, knowing they will be beyond stressed to pay it off.

~people who are missing the entire point of Christmas...the gift our Savior, Jesus Christ.

~wives and moms that are spending Christmas without their husband who is in another country fighting for our freedom.

~parents who desperately desire for their kids to be at home on Christmas day

~couples who are trying to get pregnant and living on a 28-day cycle, with every cycle ending in tears and hopelessness

~a friend who is waiting for her adoption numbers to change so they are closer to having their child(ren) come HOME

~my multiple friends who have a parent with some kind of illness

~a friend who could find out some disappointed medical news

~multiple people I know who are job hunting at probably the worst time of year

~a friend's preemie who has his ups and downs, but trying so hard to be home in time for Christmas

~the elderly who sit in their house all alone staring at 4 walls. The loneliness they feel. Unloved. Under-appreciated. Helpless.

This is deemed "the most wonderful time of the year", yet people hurt more this time than most any other time of the year. Whether its something I've listed above or facing the loss of a loved one and this is the first Christmas without them (it could even be the 2nd, 5th, 10th, or 20th) or it could be something completely unbeknown-st to anyone else. It all hurts the same. The trees may be up and decorated, the lights on the house and around town are sparkly and beautiful, the Christmas music playing loudly wherever you go, the joys of buying presents, all the pretty gifts wrapped and ready for people to tear into, the holiday parties, the meals, etc. None of these things make the hard things in life go away. It may put a mask on our trials for a few weeks, but the they are still there waiting on us. Weighing us down. Chains that we carry. Burdens that seem to heavy to bear.

Christmas is truly about our Savior, the Prince of PEACE! If we really take a step back from the hustle and bustle and what society says we "should" be doing/celebrating, then we can maybe put this season into perspective. We celebrate a man in a red suit who brings gifts that only offer temporal gratification, instead of completely focusing our eyes on the One who brings eternal freedom from everything this world offers or throws at us. I'm not here to debate if people should or should not celebrate "santa" b/c that is each person's/family's personal choice. My point is that our main focus should be Jesus Christ. Not the presents under the tree. Not how much we are spending on the people on our list. Not worrying about making everyone happy this year. Its simply celebrating the greatest gift of all!

Somewhere in between Thanksgiving and New Years, we get lost in our "to-do" lists. We forget what we're really doing. We forget why we really celebrate. Everything becomes so self-oriented masked by buying gifts for other people. We truly lose sight of those around us that are hurting b/c we don't have time to worry about it until after the holidays are over. And, for most of us, we forget until we are the person hurting and then we desperately want others to be there for us. Life is too hard for us to "forget".

As I've been praying for my friends and family, I've made a point to be very thankful this Christmas season as well.

What I've been thankful for the last few weeks:
~we aren't enslaved to credit card debt (Thank the good Lord! This is difficult for all of us!)
~the time I get to spend with my husband
~having a present for every person on our list
~being able to give back to our community and children across the world
~my husband and I are on the same team
~restoration in many relationships

There are definitely some days I feel like we're missing out. I LOVE being able to buy presents for people and just buy anything I see that I know someone would like. I love going to the mall and seeing all the pretty clothes and stuff that I'd love to fill my house and closets with. I would love to take a trip for New Years. This year, those things just aren't in the cards. However, I have to keep my thought-life and desires in check. Those are not things that God wants us to desire. Are those things bad? No! What is bad is when things of this world drive our heart and we become disappointed or angry b/c we can't have what we want. This year, I'm making the choice to celebrate Christ. Not be discouraged by what we can't do or things that I feel limited in, but to take every second and appreciate the One True Gift Christmas celebrates...the life of Christ.

Let's not forget those around us that are hurting and living with life-circumstances that seem unbearable.

Let's take the time to serve those in need.

Let's take the time to be thankful for our lives and the blessings God has given us.

Most of all, let's not forget what we really celebrate this season. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Oh Come All Ye Faithful is my favorite Christmas carol. It just happened to be what our sermon was about this past Sunday. Take a look at this video...

Come FAITHFUL. Come joyful and triumphant. Come BEHOLD HIM. Come ADORE HIM.

Isaiah 9:6
"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given;
And, the government will be upon His shoulder.
And, His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Boundaries

Boundaries in our life are a must. Sometimes they are difficult to set, other times they are pretty simple.

When I got married, the boundaries weren't necessarily with people. I had to prioritize differently. How much money I spent and where my money was going. My time at church was downsized so I could be at home with my husband. I also had to set boundaries with my workout routine. I didn't want to stay away from home and my new husband, but I had to learn that its important to keep my body healthy and I couldn't stop working out. I had to realize its "okay" to say that I didn't want to do something with my friends b/c I just wanted to be at home. New boundaries were set with our families. The Bible talks about leaving your family and cleaving to your spouse. They weren't "bad" boundaries...just boundaries that made our relationships look different.

The biggest lesson I've learned this year is that I can forgive people, but still set a boundary in our relationship. There were a few times this year that the healthy boundary was to say good-bye to some friendships. Those are the hardest. People who we thought loved us and had our best interest at heart. People that we shared life with. People that we celebrated with and cried with. And, then realizing that most of it was fake. Hurtful things were said behind our back. Lies were told. Stories made up. Finding out that people who we thought really cared about us were saying things about us that contradicted the relationship we thought we had with them. Forgiveness, but walking away from relationships that were consistently negative.

Other boundaries we've had to set are leaving our church. That wasn't easy for us. However, we believe it was the right decision for us b/c we could no longer sit under the teaching after learning about the leadership of our church. It was hurtful.

Not all relationships, even the hurtful ones, require "cutting all ties". In fact, I believe that is the last resort. Please don't think that I am saying to walk away from any relationship that is hard or if someone hurts you one time. Its the actions of someone's consistent character and lack of change. There are only so many times you can go back and get hurt again. I want to share a story with you that I heard from another blogger-friend. Its a story her counselor shared with her and its very relevant to setting boundaries:

"My counselor told me a story about a little girl and a dog. The little girl lives next door to this very cute dog. She wants the dog to like her so everyday she goes to the fence and tries to talk to the dog and pet him. And everyday the dog barks and barks. Growls and growls. Chomps and chomps. He is a mean dog. He does not like her. He did not like her yesterday. He does not like her today. And if the world works the way it usually does, this dog is not going to like her tomorrow.

Still, she presses on, desperate for the dog to be her friend.

And every morning she goes and sticks her fingers through that fence and every morning that mean dog is still very mean.

One day the dog bites her.

Here’s the question we have to ask though: Did she lose her fingers because of the dog or did she lose them because of herself?

A few years ago I told my counselor that she lost them because of the dog. He was mean. He bit her fingers off. He attacked her. He never would be nice. He wouldn’t like the little girl no matter how hard she tried and he was to blame for that. That dog was mean and stupid and left the girl hand less. Bad dog. I hate dogs.

My counselor’s response?

"That girl lost her fingers because she refused to acknowledge reality. It was her fault the dog bit her. It was her fault that she was hurt over and over again everyday. It was her responsibility to make a logical decision about that dog and she refused to do so. So she lost her fingers. The dog was innocent. That little girl was completely to blame for what happened to her because even though she knew the dog was mean, but she refused to accept that as reality. You are that little girl."

Albert Einstein defined insanity as, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

That means that in the story with the dog, the dog is not to blame; the little girl is. The dog was consistent. He was consistently mean and angry and violent. His behavior was typical. Should the dog be mean? No. Should the dog bite fingers? No. Is the dog a nice dog? No. But those are not questions that the little girl gets to answer or decide. The dog is being who the dog is… it’s not her job, her right, or her Christian duty to make that dog nice. First you have to realize that. You cannot change the behavior of someone else. You cannot change the outcome of something or someone that is out of your control (i.e. your day, your companies decisions, or any human being).

So now she has a choice: Do I let the dog be? Or do I continue to go back to the dog, day after day, hoping that he has changed?

Well, Albert Einstein, and a whole bunch or really smart shrinks would tell you that by going back to the dog you are essentially exhibiting behaviors of someone who is in insane. That’s not fun to hear is it? Your actions are INSANE. You are to blame. You are responsible for yourself and are harming yourself… the dog doesn’t have power to hurt you."

At some point in life, you have to stop going back to the fence. You have to make the choice. One of my favorite quotes (that you hear often on here) is that "I allow all people to talk TO me, but I only allow a FEW to speak into me and over me." We choose how close people can get to us...not the other way around. We have to let the Holy Spirit guide us in that decision and how many boundaries to set. We have to realize that if we are allowing someone else to manipulate and dictate the decisions we make, then we are allowing them to control us. We are putting their desires over the desires of God.

"If you are letting someone control you, you are committing the sin of idolatry. Putting their will for your life over God's will for your life is idolatry." ~Craig Groeschel

I challenge you to take a good look at the relationships around you. Which ones are destroying you? Which are destroying and taking away from your relationship with God? Which are taking away from your family? Which ones are discouraging you from serving people and putting others above yourself? Seek the Lord's guidance and start setting boundaries today.

***click here to see all 31 days of relationships posts***

freedom

imagine being a believer in another country. how about another country that doesn't allow you to worship God. imagine bringing up a church service on your computer and putting your earbuds in and closing your eyes to worship silently. imagine the emotion of coming back to the United States and being able to walk into a church and worship openly for the first time since you lived out of the country. what that experience must be like! the freedom you finally have. you can sing as loud as you want. you can raise your hands in adoration of our God! you can say words that you weren't able to say. you can pray out loud. you can encourage one another with words from the Bible. its freedom.

As I was going to church last week at LifeChurch last week, I started thinking about believers (in ministry or not) overseas, in Russia or the Middle East especially, who can't worship God openly. If they are caught, they are legally and physically in trouble. I was thinking what a blessing it is that LifeChurch (and other online churches) can be seen anywhere at anytime. Believers in other countries can worship and grow in God's word in the privacy of their own home.

From here, I was thinking about what an incredible experience it would be to come home from such spiritual confinement and be able to worship openly...however they want.

As I was thinking about the freedom they have in the United States, I started questioning why other believers can be so judgemental about HOW people worship. I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about Christianity. There is a difference. Not all religions teach that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven. Not all people believe that Jesus Christ is God! He is. He is the only way! With that said, it makes me sad that believers worry about others' worship styles so much that they take their own eyes off the Lord and the relationship they have with Him.

We need to stop being so worried about other people and what they are doing and start focusing on our own relationship with the Lord. We need to stop finding reasons to condemn other people so we feel better about ourselves. We need to stop finding things "wrong" with other people and focus on reaching the world. We need to extend the same grace that Christ offered. Love others the way He did.

"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." John 3:17 NIV

***click here to see all posts from 31 days of relationships***

What's Your Priority?

Where is your relationship with the Lord right now? Is it priority? Or is it taking a back seat to other things in your life?

In my quiet time this week, I'm studying idols. I'm going through Priscilla Shirer's "Can We Talk?". She teaches you how to take a verse or passage and break it down on your own. Sometimes we just don't have an hour to sit in the Word. Life just doesn't allow it in certain stages. Here is a basic breakdown of how to do this:

1. Read your verse or passage.
2. "Pore and Paraphrase" - In your own words, paraphrase what you read.
3. "Pull Out" - write down the the key things you learn from the passage.
4. "Pose" - write questions for yourself.
5. "Plan and Pin" - make a plan to apply the scripture to your life and set a date too.

Week three has been dealing with priorities in life and making sure God is 1st. I just wanted to share what I've been reading.

Deuteronomy 4:16-19
"Do not corrupt yourselves by making an idol in any form-whether of a man or a woman, an animal on the ground, a bird in the sky, a small animal that scurries along the ground, or a fish in the deepest sea. And when you look up into the sky and see the sun, moon, and stars-all the forces of heaven-don't be seduced into worshipping them. The Lord your God gave them to all the peoples of the earth."

Paraphrase - Do not sin or do not become evil by making an idol for yourself of ANY KIND. Not any human (man or woman), not any kind of creature of the earth, not in the sky or on the earth. NOTHING. God, Himself, created every thing on this earth and gave it to us.

Pull Out - Idols can be anything. Each person can create their own. Anything you would make an idol was CREATED by God!!!! You would be worshipping another created thing.

Pose - Why would you worship the created and not the Creator?
What do you think about most often?
Where are you giving most of your time?
Are you having a quiet time daily?
What do you do when you're at home?

Place and Pin - Actively put God first!!! Every day! Be intentional about where your time and thoughts are going. Make a "schedule" to see where your time is going and then re-prioritize accordingly.

"Your god is what you seek. Its what you love, trust in, worship, serve, and allow to control you."

So, where is your relationship with the Lord right now? What are you putting above Him? Maybe its time to re-prioritize and start giving Him the best of you.

***click here to see all 31 days of relationships posts***

Bowl of Rocks

For day 6 of relationships, I wanted to share a devotional my mom did for me at one of my bridal showers.

A "rock" according to scripture is a large stone or cliff symbolizing shelter or safety or a foundation:
Genesis 49:24 - refers to the Shepherd of Israel as "the rock"
Psalm 19:14 - He is my ROCK and my redeemer
Matthew 16:18 - I will build my church upon THIS ROCK

Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Moses, Gideon, the Isrealites, Saul and King David are some examples of men throughout the Bible who used rocks to build altars upon God's instruction. The purpose for those altars was not only for worship. Psalm 78:4 says, "We will not hide (these things) from our children; We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord - of His power and the wonders He has done."

In Joshua, after the crossing of the Jordan, Joshua was instructed to set up stones - one for each tribe so that when their children ask about the stones, they would be able to say that the stones are there "that all all the peoples of the earth may know the hand of the LORD, that it is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever” (Joshua 4).

We always need and covet reminders that God has been and IS faithful. Like the men of the Old Testament, we sometimes fall into seasons of life where we need that reminder more than others.

At this point my mom gave me a bowl. In the bowl were two rocks. One was from the Starbucks in Stillwater where my husband and I met. The other was a rock that he picked out from our first house and gave to my mom. On each rock, there is a date, place and/or event written on it to remind us how good God has been. The foundation that He is laying in our marriage. And, a reminder to trust Him when things aren't going the way we planned. There are more rocks in our bowl now. Some are reminders of exciting and happy times, others are to remind us that we came through a trial.

These rocks sit in our kitchen and people ask about them all the time. Its a time that I can tell people the awesome things God has done for us. How He got us where we are today. It wasn't always easy, but He definitely saw us through. My prayer is that we continue to put rocks in there so that one day our kids will see all the ways God was faithful.

So what does this devotional have to do with relationships you ask? The relationship that God wants to have with each of us is incredible! God of the Universe wants an intimate relationship with all of us. When we have that relationship, we can see the foundation He lays in our life. We can see His works. When we face trial, He is there. Those trials shape us to be more like Him. Having a bowl of rocks may not seem like anything special, but for us its a reminder that the God we serve is faithful to bring us through all things.

Its important to let your kids and other people in your life see that God is bigger than any circumstance. If you are married or single, its still so important to see that God is faithful in all things.

***click here to see all 31 days of relationship posts***

Tough Love

What is tough love? Is it biblical?

I'm guest blogging on Abby's blog today! She has been doing an entire series on tough love this week. Check it out!

Breaking Free

Breaking Free by Beth Moore was the bible study that changed my life! It was exactly what I needed at the exact right time in my life! I always tell people that it was a personal counseling session b/c it dug deep. I actually did the entire study on my own and without the videos. Looking back at what I was dealing with, I don't think I would have enjoyed it if I was going through it with a large group of women. I appreciate how intimate it was and being able to work through some stuff on my own and falling more in love with my Savior. Today, I would actually like to take it again. Beth Moore has updated the study with new videos and study guides. After having gone through it, I think it would be great to go through it with others. I would really encourange anyone that is struggling with hanging on to something that is consuming their thought life to go through this study. These could be anything from losing a loved one, to a bad break-up, a divorce, losing a child, struggling with unmet expectations, working through any kind of abuse, being consumed with thinking about food all day (over-eating or under-eating), gossiping, anger, or anything that takes your mind off the freedom that you have in Christ. Its not a "quick-fix" or asking you to forget a loved one or an easy process. There will be self-reflection, tears, struggles, and relying on God 100%. Its a journey, so be ready for God to really move! In the end, its well worth the spiritual growth!

For other good bible study suggestions, head over to Kelly's Korner for some ideas!