Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2012! So far, it been a pretty good year. I know we're only 3 days in, but my Alma Mater won the Fiesta Bowl and I'm super excited about it!!! I've made two resolutions for this year. For the last few years, I've tried to keep my resolutions simple. At least, simple in words...and not more than 2 resolutions. On top of the simple resolutions, I've tried the "101 in 1001" or something like that and the lists of things to keep up with and measure every month. But, I've found that if I can keep it simple with only two things to focus on, then I really work on the goals I've set.

It all started in 2003. It was by "accident". I had broken up with my college boyfriend a few months before Christmas and I was utterly heartbroken. The goal I set for for 2004 was to "get through one day at a time". I knew if I could just get through each day of that year, then I would have gotten through all the "firsts" without him. I cried a lot that year, so my resolution for 2005 was to "cry less". I broke out of my shell that year. There were a lot of things I realized about myself. I had fun, but I was still hurting and tried to "fix" things in my life to work out how I wanted them to in the moment. Of course, they still didn't work out how I expected, and, thankfully, God was working outside of me trying to do HIS job. For 2006, my resolution was "less drama". :) While that year had less "drama", it was full of great memories. Serving in the college ministry, seeing my best friend get married, and I bought a house! Actually, as I think about that year, it had a little drama. There was someone in my life that was constantly telling me what I could and couldn't do, who I could and couldn't be friends with, and that I was too "old" to be friends with college students (I was only 28)...and I let him. I allowed someone to dictate my life for a whole year! So my resolution for 2007 was to "have fun". And, fun I had!!! I did exactly what I wanted to do and didn't really care about the consequences. There were times I lost my witness because of it, but I was tired of being "good". By the end of the year, I started realizing that I wasn't living the life that I truly wanted to. I wasn't being a fully-devoted follower of Christ. I was ready for a serious change! My resolution for 2008 was to "ACT OUT a godly adult-life and make godly decisions" and I wanted to "be a good steward of what God had given me". I made some tough decisions that year, but knew I was making the godly decisions I needed to make. Single life wasn't easy, but it was better than settling for whoever walked into my life. I'm so thankful for the wait because God allowed me to meet my sweet husband! Up to this point, I was really proud of how well I'd kept my resolutions.

Enter 2009. I went away from my "simple" plan and, as a result, didn't do my best. I thought I was keeping it simple by saying the resolution was "live healthy", but I had a list to follow: workout more, eat less, more bible study, and keep a clean house. I did well with the workouts and bible studies, but my life didn't change in the food and cleaning house departments. I made it too difficult. When I try to do too much, I end up not focusing on all areas.

In 2010, I thought I would try something different. I picked a verse to meditate on for the year. I had good intentions of memorizing the passage and really using it throughout the year. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. I did learn to seek the Lord in my fears of the unknown, but I had a hard year spiritually. God used that year to grow me in ways that I wasn't expecting and I was definitely ready for the year to end.

I was SO glad to see 2011!!! And, I went back to my simple resolution! "Eat less". This was my year to break my stronghold of food! I'm proud to say that I am in a totally different place today than I was last year at this time! Praise the Lord! He has brought me here. I still have bad habits I battle, lies I have to conquer with TRUTH, and I'm still learning that its hard work to break this addiction. Its not an easy, overnight fix, but last year allowed me to focus on my relationship with the Lord and defeating this stronghold!

Now for 2012. My resolution for this year is "to extend more grace" and "read more". I've realized in the last couple years, I've become very cynical with people. We live in a world where it seems that every day breeds more and more entitlement. Its ugly! I find myself getting frustrated with people that walk around with only themselves on their mind. Is their behavior okay? No. However, my goal this year is to extend grace to people that I think don't deserve it. None of us deserve the grace that God freely gives us! I don't deserve it! You don't deserve it. So, who am I to not extend grace to others? My prayer is that I will find ways to show people God's love through grace. This will be tough for me...but I look at it as an attitude adjustment. Looking at people through God's eyes and not my own.

And, finally to read more. I stick myself in front of the TV way too often. Its time for a change! I'm not looking to read meaningless riff-raff, but things that will make me think and allow me to grow. I'm not saying there won't be some "girly" books thrown in every once in awhile, but I really want to read things that I won't feel are "time wasters" like TV has become.

So, there you have it! Resolutions for the year! Simple. Doable. Life-changing. Christ-representing!

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 2011!!!!!!

2011 is here!!!! We rung in the New Year with my best friend and her husband! My New Years plans are usually pretty boring, but this year we decided to venture out! The four of us had a date night out and then back to our house to watch some Cowboy Basketball and homemade peach cobbler!!!! The big countdown wasn't that grand...we watched the ball drop in New York and then waited the hour by watching a "guilty pleasure" concert of Jessica Simpson I had saved to my DVR. We love her voice, but she's really not my favorite artist to watch live. Anyway---we switched to the New Year's show in Vegas to count down New Years! We kissed! We hugged! We took pictures (of course!)! And then, we slept. :) Not too exciting, but we really did have a great time! New Years Day was a pretty lazy one. My hubby and I slept in and watched some TV. We did get a little productive and took down all the Christmas decorations and got them put away....plus did a little dusting and vacuuming too. For dinner we headed to some friends' house for a shrimp boil! It was YUM!!!!!! There was andouille sausage, polish sausage, shrimp, potatoes, and corn....after they boiled it all, it was dumped out on the counter for all of us to dig in! We had so much fun!!!! After dinner, we visited, had a little dessert and watched the Tostito Bowl.

All in all, it was a fantastic start to a brand new year! I love new starts. It makes me feel like I get a "d0-over". It feels fresh. It feels like the slate has been wiped clean. Nothing has been written yet. And, it gives hope to what the future holds.

2010 wasn't horrible, but I did have a big year of spiritual growth and trying to figure out why God does some things. What's funny is that He jumped right into my heart after Christmas. I opened my bible study to find the passage of 2 Samuel 24:1-10. God asks David to take a census. When David returns, he realizes that he had sinned and God punished David and all of Israel. The Bible does not explain what the sin was that God was punishing them for. In the study, Beth Moore poses the question, "How has Satan tried to make you believe that God is unfair?" As soon as I read it, I laughed out loud! The last few months, I have been so frustrated with God and how some aspects of our lived has played out. The day before, I truly had a day where I told myself that God hated us. Satan is very much trying to make me believe that God doesn't care about us...even though everything in me KNOWS that He does. There are just days that are truly hard. And, what makes them harder is not understanding God's ways, this side of Heaven.

So, just like this passage, where we don't understand God's ways....I have felt that a lot in 2010. Beth Moore goes on to explain 4 things that we need to understand:

1. "We don't always have the explanations for certain events and acts of God."
2. "He is sovereign."
3. "He owes us no explanation."
4. "He purposes to teach us to walk by faith and not by sight."

So, what are we to do??

"When we think God is unfair: Acknowledge that His ways are higher than ours; And, Acknowledge what we DO know about God."

She closed the study with these questions:
"How do you handle things you can't understand about God and His ways?"
"Do they make you doubt?"
"Do they make you tired?"
"Are they worth worrying about?"

I always say that I just want God to give me a road map. I don't really care what the outcome is, I just want to know what it is before it gets here. I laugh at myself as I'm typing b/c I know the reason that I don't need a road map: He wants me to trust Him. I have God as my "driver". There is nothing to fear! There is nothing worth worrying about.

My desire every year is to be more faithful with my Saviour. For my intimate, personal relationship to grow even more every day. To become more like Him! Its not a resolution...its a process. Its life! Its who I am. I pray that as we continue through 2011, my mind will be on my God. I will trust Him, especially when I don't understand His ways. I pray I continually grow in the grace and knowledge of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. I praise Him that He goes before me and already knows what I will face this year. I praise Him that He will be there no matter what.

I do traditionally make a New Year's Resolution. When I started this 7 years ago, I kept it simple. The last two years, I've over-done it and put too much out there. Its easier for me to remember the simple. So, this year my resolution is to "eat less". Simple. I was about to say that it has nothing to do with my spiritual life, but it actually does b/c its a temptation I struggle with on almost a daily basis. God always gives us an "out" when it comes to temptation. I know so many people make this resolution b/c we just splurged on holiday yummy-ness, but this is more than just losing weight. For me, its refocusing my thought life to be more on my Saviour instead of food. To choose obedience over disobedience. To choose the Spirit over the flesh. I can't say I won't fail, but I am going to give my all to break this stronghold this year.

I also have a goal. I call it a goal b/c I can't measure this and I'm not going to make a list of rules to follow, b/c then I will just set myself up for failure. I want to look back over this year and see that my heart has become more servant-minded. I want to give back to others....whether they are considered "needy" or not. All of us NEED. All of us hurt. All of us desire love. I want to fix my eyes on my Saviour, who was the ultimate servant and become more like Him.

I pray you all had a beautiful New Year. I pray that you can go into 2011 with hope and see it as fresh and clean and new! Happy New Year!

(my other goal for this month is to finish my wedding blogging...however, Ruger seems to have broken my connecting outlet into my external hard-drive, so we'll see if I actually get it done. However, if it does get fixed, you may be bored to tears with all the wedding stuff that will be posted this month....just warning you!)

2010 Is Here

Well the starting of a new decade and I can't think of a better way to start it than with my husband, my best friend! A new home! We actually are having a REAL winter! A fantastic wood burning stove! A new nephew (little Cannon was born December 3oth)! So many good things...so many blessings!

As I think back on the last decade, I'm glad to be leaving it behind. I learned a lot and grew a lot spiritually...but there was quite a bit of pain and heartache.

The heartache of 2000-2009:
~The struggles of professionally singing
~Having friends leave Stillwater after graduation
~Losing two close friends in the OSU Men's Basketball plane crash
~Dealing with lonliness after all my friends moved away
~Battled depression after my friends died
~Broke up with my college boyfriend after 5 years...I was devastated, but I knew that God was in control and would work His best for both of us. Dealing with the void and losing the person I talked to everyday was REALLY hard! If you've had a major break-up, you know what I mean. (Just in case you don't know the whole story, God's plan for each of us was better than what we had in mind).
~Not only did I lose my college boyfriend, but also dealt with losing his family. I LOVED them! They truly were my second family. I was so close to his mom and love her dearly! I miss her still to this day!
~Dexter (my cat) died...I remember telling Michelle that Dexter was "my constant". I was so mad at God for taking her..I just didn't understand. I still don't understand completely, but it did force me to start working on dealing with my loneliness.
~Lonliness due to being single longer than all my friends
~Struggling to find contentment with where God had me
~The loss of my grandpa and grandma
~Both of my sisters-in-law lost babies
~Michelle moved away!
~We are STILL trying to sell my house!!!!
~Watching friends struggle with their marraiges and seeing divorce for some

The Blessings of 2000-2009:
~Working for Eddie Sutton in the OSU Men's Basketball office
~Obtaining my Bachelor's Degree
~God providing friends everytime one of my best friends moved away
~Countryside
~Losing 30 lbs!!!
~I have 8 nieces and nephews!!!!
~Sustaining my relationship with Judy (my college boyfriend's mom)...she helped build skills where my mom had laid the foundation.
~I wish I could name EVERY person who changed my life during these years...God was SO gracious!
~Leaving a job at the bank (which I hated) and getting a job where I work now
~Michelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~A girls bible study (5 Aspects at Michelle's house)
~Prayer group (Michelle, Zanna, and Melissa)
~Arbonne (my short-time business...taught me A LOT about myself)
~RUGER!!!!!!!!!
~Buying my first home
~Serving in Crossover
~Serving in Women's Ministry and planning women's retreats
~My relationship with the Lord GREW amazingly!!! He became my best friend!
~Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" bible study changed my life!
~Relationship with my parents became stronger...they truly became some of my most favorite people to hang out with.
~I found contentment being single!!! I knew that I would rather be single (and know why I'm lonely) than be married to the wrong person (and lonely sitting in the same room with them). I also knew that I would be GREAT just serving God 100% of my time in ministry. (Now I get to serve him through my marriage).
~Attending DTS online
~Little FINLEY was born!
~I met Ken! God's most amazing blessing!!!!
~I GOT MARRIED!
~I have my own little family!

Even though the blessings ultimately outweigh the heartaches, I remember the heartaches b/c that is what grew me so much. I know God says we will have trial....but as long as I come out of the trials more like Him, then it was completely worth it! Being obedient in the hard times was completely worth it!

I know that I can't expect 2010, or the next decade, to only bring blessing and no pain....but I do pray that my relationship with the Lord continues to grow and that He becomes even more to me than He already is! I'm also thankful to see where God takes us...and our family to hopefully grow one day in this decade. I pray that Ken and I can bring up children in a godly home so they will one day choose to follow Him too!

My resolution was going to look a lot like last year's b/c they are things I really struggle with and truly desire to work on (laziness, loving others, and being healthy). However, over the last few days, I've realized something about me. I realized that I worry A LOT about the "what if's":

~ "What if our house catches on fire and we aren't home and Ruger and Lexis die?"
~ "What if I get cancer?"
~ "What if Ken dies?"
~ "What if I can't sleep b/c I'm afraid someone is going to break into my house when Ken isn't home?"
~ "What if Ruger gets attacked by a coyote or a bobcat?" (remember, we live in the country!!!)
~ "What if my parents don't get to play with MY kids like they get to play with my brothers' kids?"

All of these and more I DWELL on everytime I lay my head on my pillow! I'm tired of giving my thought-life over to my flesh...letting Satan attack me in my thought-life. Yes, all of these things are possible. BUT, why would I ever think that God wouldn't take care of me in time of need/despair/heartache??? Have I SEEN my past???? Choosing to worry about these things just shows I still struggle with trusting God with my future. He has never just left me to deal with life on my own. In fact, in His Word, He tells us that He will NEVER leave or forsake us!

So, I'm not sure if this is really a resolution, but I have chosen a passage to hold as MINE this year! A passage to memorize! A passage to live by! A passage to rely on...to point me to my God, my Savior, my Best Friend, my Father! A passage to remind me to trust Him and not fear! He is sufficient! Only He knows whats best for me! He knows me better than I know myself. He has gone before me...I can trust that He will provide, protect, never leave or forsake, LOVE me no matter what, bless me, and grow me!

Psalm 4

Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness!

You have relieved me in my distress;

Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.

How long, O you sons of men,

Will you turn my glory to shame?

How long will you love worthlessness

And seek falsehood?

But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly;

The Lord will hear when I call to Him.

Be angry, and do not sin.

Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still.

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,

And put your trust in the Lord.

There are many who say,

"Who will show us any good?"

Lord, lift of the light of your countenance upon us.

You have put gladness in my heart,

More than in the season that their grain and wine increased.

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;

For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

happy february!!!

Its February 2009! Only 11 months to go until 2010. :) My resolutions for '09 were to be healthy in all areas. I have been making better eating choices, working out 5 times a week, and having my quiet time every morning before work. My second one was to love my family...no strings attached. Love is an action and I am just trying to find things to do to love my family. In my quest to keep my second resolution, I am going to pray for specific people in my family each month. This month Kenny, Cannady, Mark and Kim are having birthdays. Kenny is turning 34 on February 3rd; Cannie turns 2 on February 6th; Mark turns 38 on the 13th; and Kim has a birthday on the 17th (I'm not posting her age without asking if its ok). While I try to pray for all my family everyday, it gets hard with so many of us....so besides the typical prayer for health and spiritual growth, I will be praying specifically for these four daily.

February is already full of activities and excitement. My close friend, Cindy is having her second child TOMORROW!!!! YAY!!!! I can't wait. Her and her husband, Mike, already have a little boy and now they are going to be blessed with daughter. I am so excited for them.

Celebrations of four birthdays will happen this month. Cannady is my youngest niece and she turns 2. Mark is my brother and Kim is his wife. Iwill also start working 80% this month, instead of full time, so that I can spend more time with Kenny. Our schedules are a little off with him working weekends, so this will give us a day to hang out together. I'll be singing at church on the 8th (anyone is welcome to come...church starts at 8:30am and 10:45am). Kenny (and I) are hosting a bonfire for the college ministry at his place. And the last weekend, Michelle and I are going to a women's retreat at a church in OKC. All of that topped with church, Cowboy Basketball and keeping up with my favorite TV shows ;) this month could possible fly by....but there will be many blessings along the way!

Here are the February Birthdays:

I couldn't have said it better myself...

I read the blog, Between Here and Home, pretty much everyday. While I don't know Christy in person, she has really encouraged me in my walk with the Lord more than she will ever know. I wanted to pass along this particular blog she wrote regarding 2009. Its so encouraging and such a godly way to start the new year. The one thing that I would add to what she says is that as we look at the empty calendar for the next year....nothing written, nothing known....we can know that over the next 363 days, even though we will not know the trials or joys we will face, God knows. He goes before us!!! He knows what lies ahead and has already seen each day. We can trust Him to carry us through anything we face. I think the biggest reminder I have for myself is to praise Him as He carries me through the joys of life. So often, I get caught up in the excitement of life and realize later that I am able to have those joys because He gave them to me. Because of His grace alone....nothing I deserve, but His amazing love for me. Some years we go through and don't see many joys, but that doesn't mean there weren't blessings. Trials are blessings!!! They are blessings because we get to see God work! WOW!! He allows us to see Him working in our lives. We have the opportunity to serve Him and trust Him! We have the opportunity to be more like Christ at the end of the trial. So, no matter what kind of year you and I have, I pray that we rejoice in ALL the blessings (the joys and the trials)!

I never really made New Year's Resolutions until New Years Day 2004. I have actually kept them too! So, I am keeping with that tradition I have given myself. Here are my resolutions for 2009:

1. Live Healthy! ~ This includes my spiritual life and having that personal relationship with Christ....letting Him into all areas of my life and having Him be my best friend. Eating less and healthier....I don't want to "diet" for the rest of my life! Workout more...not make excuses why I "can't" or "don't have time." This is the only body God gives me and I want to glorify Him with it in all areas.

2. Love my family! ~ I know this sounds like a "given," but I think that most of us take for granted of our families. We worry more about serving our churches and communities than we do our own families. We take advantage of them and expect them to serve us. We love them, but also hold them to certain standards. I want to love with no strings attached. I don't really know what this looks like yet, but I have been very convicted about it lately and know its something that God wants me to work on.

I haven't picked my verse for the year....but I did find one on a website that gives you your "birth verse." The first time I read mine, I didn't really like it.....it didn't "SPEAK" to me. But once I read it again, it really fit with my 2nd resolution. Here is my birth verse:

Proverbs 8:21 (NIV)
"bestowing wealth on those who love me and making their treasuries full."
I want to bestow wealth on those that love ME! Why wouldn't I??? To make their treasuries full...not necessarily monetary, but giving them back love. Making them feel "full" on love! What better witness of Christ can we have than to love as He did. When we love and serve others, we no longer appear to be the same as the rest of the world. People see a difference! That difference is Christ and we can share that with them!

Two of my favorite verses are:
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
I love this verse because in both of my resolutions, I don't want to conform to the world's standards. In all I do, I want Christ to be seen and glorified! I want others to know Him. If I am living as the world does, then no one will see Christ in me. Why live healthy? Because taking care of what God has given me is not only being a good steward of my possessions, but its the vessel that can carry out the gospel. Why love my family? Because, serving and loving show Christ and lead people to Him.

John 3:17
For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
God is a loving God! He didn't send Christ to condemn everyone and make us feel unworthy. That is what Satan does. God IS love....God IS truth! He desires that ALL people be saved. I want to represent the loving God that HE IS!!! Not the "god" the world tries to say he is. He is my Savior! And He can be your Savior too! No sin is too horrible or too "bad." His forgiveness is uncomprehendable and so amazing and he extends it to every person. All you have to do is accept it.

All you have to do for salvation is BELIEVE that Christ took your place and paid for YOUR sin on the cross and rose three days later defeating sin! Its that simple! BELIEF! God sent His Son for you! Christ lowered Himself for you!

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever BELIEVES in Him will have everlasting life.