BurnOut!!!

I hate feeling "burnout"!!! Its frustrating to me! I feel like that in almost every area of life right now. I think I just have so much going on that when I start thinking about all of it, it wears me out. Then my solution is to be lazy....or apathetic. I just want one evening to sit at home and do nothing. However, if and when I do get that I still don't get to start doing "nothing" until close to 7pm! Thats what time it is when I finally get off work, get home, decide what to do for dinner, have dinner, either come back home or clean the kitchen....and then I can sit down. At 7pm, I onlt have a few hours to relax...and who can relax with all things that didn't get done during the day because I had to work? Then I start thinking that one evening of doing absolutely nothing isn't enough! I need a week!!! And then I get carried away in my thought life and want a week where I don't have to work AT ALL! Then my thought life completely takes a turn for the worst and I complain and become very irritable....and who wants to be around me then?

Today I am tired of working 8-5; I'm tired of thinking about, having the desire, and taking action on being healthy (what I eat and working out); I'm tired of being at church 3+ times a week; I'm tired of my Intro to Theology class where the teacher thinks I really want to sit and listen to him ramble for 6+ hours worth of video; I'm tired of my 2nd job because its a 3 hour waste of time; I'm tired of constant laundry; I'm tired of home repair; I'm tired of not being able to see Kenny whenever I want b/c we both have things that need to be done; I'm tired of not taking spur of the moment trips; I'm tired of not seeing my family as often as I used to...and as often as I want.

This is the part of being fallen that I hate so much! These are the days that more than ever I can't wait to be with our Lord! To not feel pulled in 50 million directions. To spend our days glorigying Him! To not worry about tomorrow. And, at the same time, I feel so selfish because most of the reason that I listed above come down to selfishness....that I'm not getting my way...or doing what I want, when I want. I'm just tired!

I got this quote from my friend Judith's blog..."do not let blessings turn into burdens." I think on that often! While I'm tired of working 8-5, what a blessing to have a job AND one that is flexible AND that I will have 12 days off at Christmas; While I'm tired of working out and thinking about being healthy, I'm blessed to have a body that functions and that I am healthy!; While I'm tired of being at church 3+ days a week, what a blessing to have a wonderful, loving church family...a church who teaching scripture accurately...and that God allows me to serve Him there!; While I get tired of aspects of school, what a blessing that I am even able to go!!! What a blessing that God is graciously allowing me to learn there; While I'm tired of my 2nd job, what a blessing it is when we are obedient to God and He shows us where we can let go (I just turned in my 2 week notice last night); While I get tired of laundry and home repair, what a blessing that I have a beautiful home and so many clothes....they supersede just necessity! :); While I'm tired of not being able to see Kenny and my family as much as I want, what a blessing it is to have people in my life that love me! What a blessing to know that they are there!

Sometimes I get so worked up over the negative side of life that I forget to look at the blessings that each "negative" has with it!!! I am working on not letting the blessings God has given me become burdens! What a major testimony and its so humbling for me at the same time! Its easy to complain, but I want to be joyful for what God has given me and what He is doing in my life. That is how I will reveal Him to others. What is different about me if I sit and complain about life with everyone else?

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

~~~~~

2 Corinthians 10:5

casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ