Back to the Land of the Living

WOW! I always heard that weddings completely take over your thought life....and that you enter this alternate reality and now I am living it. :)


This is the first time I feel like I have been able to put normal thoughts together and jump back into the blogger world. Its been a roller coaster since we got engaged (almost two weeks ago). I have had some stressful days, but friends and family remind me that once all the big pieces are together, the stress dies down...at least until right before the BIG DAY!


We are still hunting a reception site, but hopefully after two appointments on Wednesday we will have it booked. We now have the church, the photographer, our pastor, and this weekend I found MY DRESS!!!! YAY!!! I am so excited and its so beautiful...and not what I would have expected at all. My mom wasn't with me, so I didn't buy it yet. She is coming with me this weekend! I can't wait for her to see it...and her mom (Mema) will be with us too! I think we have also found the bridesmaid and junior bridemaid dresses as well. So, I am feeling much better about things. However, the sleep thing isn't working so well. I can get to sleep, but if for any reason I wake up in the middle of the night I can't get back to sleep. I start thinking about all the things that need to be done. Or I brainstorm ideas. Or I fall back to sleep and have nightmares about what isn't going to go as planned. I have a feeling I will sleep VERY well the day AFTER the wedding!


I am also constantly reminding myself that the most important part of the BIG DAY is at the end I am Ken's wife. That we are married and starting a new season of life. That God is bringing us together to serve in ministry for Him. I am constantly humbled by this entire process. From the gorgeous ring that is perfect for me...that he picked out himself. To the help and support from my parents and everyday reminder that this day only comes once, so have fun! And, the beautiful flowers Ken's parents sent me welcoming me to their family and showing their excitement! And to the wonderful friends that are wanting to throw me showers. God is teaching me humilty and how to accept grace and not just give it all the time. But to allow others to give it as well.


I've been struggling with where I am going to serve this year and nothing was working out. I was frustrated and didn't understand what God was doing. Now, I do. I understand that the one thing that I am giving most of my time to is planning the day I will be Ken's wife. Throughout this time, I want to represent Christ in every aspect. From how I treat my family and Ken to Christ being seen in me by the photographer, baker, florist, etc. that I have never met. I want Christ to be glorified in all that I do! This is a union that He is making and I want to remember that. Its not about the dress, or the cake, or the reception site, or how amazing people think the wedding is....its about Christ! Its about representing Him! Its about the covenant with Him that Ken and I are making! This is my ministry at this time.


I also want to be preparing for marriage...not a wedding. I look forward to being Ken's wife and want to be a godly woman for him and our children some day. I don't want to just plan a wedding. I want to be preparing myself for being a wife...and a godly one.


My prayer is that I don't get so caught up in the worldy, popular aspect of the wedding and forget what I am really planning for....my marriage! I don't want to get caught up in what I want and forget WHO I am really representing....Christ, my Savior!


This WILL be a fabulous day! Only because I get to become my best friend's wife AND because we get to share our Savior with all of our friends and family!