Celebrating Life

Happy Birthday, to my sweet Husband!  He is so handsome and funny and serious and loving and gentle and a protector and my best friend.  I am thankful for his life.

He is a protector and a provider.  Some of that was probably learned, but I believe that God created him to be this way.  To fight for those who can't protect themselves.  To stand up for what is right.  He has a heart for the broken and the unwanted.  And, the courage and bravery of any man or woman fighting for our freedom can bring tears to his eyes.  He honors others more than anyone I have ever met.

He is funny!  He has a crazy sense of humor.  Most of his jokes I hear on a daily basis...but I always laugh when someone hears one for the first time.  I laugh like I heard it for the first time.  He makes my days easier and knows just what I need to hear to bring a smile to my face...even when I don't want to smile.  Sometimes Ruger has to help make me laugh and they "raise the roof".

I love that he is gentle and kind.  I could not have asked for a more tender-hearted, loving husband.  He has seen many things in his life and to be able to separate reality from our life at home is a gift and blessing from God.

He loves to have fun!! While "fun" is different to every person, we compliment each other pretty well.  He gives me courage and strength to try things that are new and I remind him that not every situation needs tactics. :)  We love people and socialize every chance we get.  We love to travel.  We love to be with each other and just be quiet at home.  We love to play with our dogs.  We love walks and being outside.  And, yes, we might even like to shop together.

He's a dreamer.  And, thankfully, so am I.  We dream big!!!  Sometimes that means big let-downs, but he definitely goes after what he wants.  He's a fighter.  He doesn't give up and he doesn't back down.  When God closes a door, he accepts it, but he's looking for the next one to open.  He's determined.  No matter what life brings, he will give his all to it.  God has blessed him with a new career and while it might have surprised some, it didn't me.  He went after it with all he has.  He's good at what he does because he loves to help people and solve problems.  But above all, whatever God calls him to, he will succeed in Jesus name!

I'm blessed to be able to walk side-by-side with him.  To celebrate his life today is celebrating one of God's most beautiful creations, which we all are.  We stand together in our journey.  There are times we agree to disagree, but we will always stand united and fight for one another.  We share a strong foundation in our faith that we build upon each day.



My best friend celebrates another year today.  I'm humbled and honored to do life with him.  To celebrate the ups and the downs. The laughter and the tears.  The celebrations and the battles. 

Happy Birthday, Baby.  It only gets better from here.  Loveyou!

2013

Our 2013 was full of events that God used to change and grow me in my spiritual life.  Its funny what looked insignificant at the time turned out to be what God used to show me His character or something new about myself.

Some of those events were:

• KP went to Kansas City for a week on business
• Grandma Lavalle passed away
• We put our house on the market because we found a house we thought we loved in town and put a contract on it
• Through MANY ups and downs, excitement and let-down, we lost the house we wanted and God closed doors on us selling our house
• Started renovating our house
• Lost Duke
• I got a new, amazing job!!!
• Our church hired a new pastor
• We took a much needed trip to Frisco/Ft. Worth
• Ruger had surgery (which was traumatic for me in and of itself) and found out he has lymphoma
• I turned 35
• I led a small group for college students
• I attended one of Beth Moore's conferences
• KP and I celebrated our 4th anniversary
• We were able to celebrated with friends who welcomed babies
• Took a weekend trip to Hattiesburg, MS to visit friends and stopped in West Monroe to see Duck Commander and visited family in  Arkansas
• We continued our tradition of cutting down our Christmas tree
• Loved celebrating the holidays with my annual brunch, business lunches and dinners and our annual night at the ballet seeing the Nutcracker
• We spent Christmas in Minnesota
• We were home for New Years Eve and enjoyed a night with new friends at a comedy club and wine bar

As I read through this list, the constant theme is my lack of control and His incredible grace.  Every one of those have a story I could tell.  There were lots of tears and just as much laughter and celebrating.  I guess those are the best years. I can't ever say that I wish the "bad" didn't happen because those are the moments and circumstances that I see my God the most.  And, there are even times that I thought were "bad" and I felt I was having to give up part of myself only to find out that God was just revealing my selfishness and even some self-righteousness in my heart.  I'm grateful for where we have been the last year and for the people that walked it with us.  Most of all, I am so thankful for the reminders that God's way is so much better than what I could even imagine.  He shows off His faithfulness in ways that take my breath away.  Humbling me in the best of ways.  I love seeing Him move and work in my life.  Some of the best lessons are those I don't even see coming.

We welcome 2014!  We have no expectations or plans for the year and its kind of exciting.  To have a fresh year open to whatever God calls us to do for His purpose and glory.

New Blogger-Not to Miss

My husband has had a blog in mind for a few years. He's always had a desire to write and has thought about publishing a book one day.

Over the last year, he reserved a blogger domain and toyed around with content. As of last night, he is ready to go public! 

It's definitely going to be a journey for him as he opens his life up for people to see. One that we hope and pray will encourage others. 

Won't you join us?

www.badgetobriefcase.blogspot.com

Evi

Happy 1st Birthday, Sweet Evi!!!!

I honestly cannot believe its been one year since my phone rang early in the morning to hear best sister's voice saying, "its time!". I got up and showered knowing I had time before your arrival b/c your mom had just gotten into her room.

I was JUST leaving my house when the 2nd call came....its almost time!!! WHAT?!?!??

I was FLYING!!!

Once I got to Guthrie, I started to worry. Not only was I praying I wouldn't miss your arrival, but I was praying for safety. It started raining HARD. And, we were under tornado watches. It was a scary view of the sky and I was just hoping to get past the storm.

I pulled into the hospital and got up to your momma's room as fast as I could. Thankfully, I made it in time.

It was a crazy time waiting for you. Your mom's epidural didn't take and the doctor almost missed getting there. I remember the nurses going to the window looking for Dr. W's car. (And, I have to say she was taking her time showering and getting ready as well b/c she didn't think you'd come as quickly as you did).

You had your own agenda and were ready no matter who was there.

Despite the intensity in the room, you finally came and brought a smile to everyone's face. You looked like your daddy and were just beautiful and perfect!

You are one of the happiest babies I've known. You have a smile that is contagious and lights up the room.

I can already see your strong independence, which will bring tears to your momma's eyes and drive her crazy at the same time. However, that will can be a beautiful trait as long as you give to the Lord.

I'm so thankful for your precious life. Your momma hoped and prayed for you...and I was right along side of her in those prayers.

I know you will not remember this day, but for me, May 1st is more beautiful now than ever!!!

Love you, Evi!
~Aunt Beth

Push Past the Exit

As I’m doing a one-legged side-plank in yoga today, I noticed the bright red “exit” sign just glaring at me. In the moment, I wanted to stand up and walk out b/c I was tired and in pain. Walking out the door would have been much easier than finishing the class. Especially since I was only 15 minutes into it.

All too often in life, we want to take the easy “exit” that is glaring at us in bright neon. Something that will give us instant, gratifying rest from this life. Something that will ease the pain. 

In yoga, I concentrate on the results. They may not always be instantaneous, but there are results. But, sometimes I don’t care about the results and I just want to quit. On those days, I repeat, “from strength to strength”. I do this b/c it helps me remember that God is carrying me from a strength I built yesterday, to a new one I am building today.

Life is the same. When I face trials, I concentrate on the result: to be more like Christ. But some days that’s just not enough for my fleshful mind to wrap itself around. That’s when I have to remind myself that God is taking me from strength to strength. Something I couldn’t do a year ago (saying “no” to a cupcake), I have overcome today. What I am struggling with today, in His strength, I will overcome tomorrow. 

There will always be an “exit” sign. But if we quit and take the easy way out, we miss out on becoming stronger in our faith and allowing God to use us for His glory!

2012 Ladies' Brunch

This past holiday season flew by! It snuck up on me and I just never could seem to get my grounding. One thing I knew for sure was that I would have my brunch no matter what! This is my third year to keep this little tradition. I love it every single year.

KP and I took a long vacation at the end of November into December, so I thought I was really prepared because I started planning much earlier! I had the invites made months in advance and my menu set. However, once we got back and December was upon us, I simplified the menu and got invitations out "late".

 Even though the planning didn't go my way, the meaning behind this is the same. These women have moved me this past year. They have come along side me and encouraged me and spoke life into me. They grow spiritually with me and love me. They are precious gifts God has given to me because no matter how hard life may get, this is when it all comes together and I see truly how blessed I am!

Of course, there was the food! I love prepping and working the week before because it gives me time for pray for each of these women and reflect on the last year. My menu this year included my favorite quiche (ham and veggie) which is a recipe from my mom's best friend, Millie; hashbrown casserole; two different types of dip; cinnamon rolls; and pumpkin cheesecake trifles.

So thankful for these girls!!!! Love that so many could make it and celebrate the holiday!!!

And, then my sweet hubs! Every year, he has to get praised because I honestly could not pull this off without him! He's right there with me all week helping me get the house ready. But, he also takes care of the dogs while all of us girls hang out and he's our photographer. :) The first year, he went out with my dad, but after that he realized there are way too many beautiful women at the house, so he usually sticks around. ;) I'm so thankful that he loves my friends so much that he likes to come hang out and visit too. We may have to make this a couples brunch one year!

The fellowship this year was so great. I had already planned in my head a few questions to get conversation started ("favorite holiday tradition" or "what are your Christmas plans") if it got too quiet. However, this room did not stop! Not everyone got to visit with everyone, but there was never a gap in conversation. Just another blessing that I am so thankful for...that I can bring all of my friends from every part of my life together and they all have a good time. I've learned over the years to not limit what God can do. He's taught me not to manipulate who comes because He is big enough to handle it.

The babies definitely had to make an appearance. :) They think its their party anyway. Ruger is pretty chill and can just enjoy being in the room, but Rossi is a handful (despite what you think by her posed picture).

As people were leaving, I had their gifts ready. For some reason this is always my favorite part. I love the goodies and getting the bags all ready for people to take home. I made some of our favorites - peanut butter truffles and molasses cookies. YUM! The mulling spices were an idea I got from one of my favorite bloggers. She used it as a favor as well and at the last minute I changed my gifts because this was perfect! It made our house smell AMAZING! (You can find out what's in it here)

I love how every year is just a little bit different. As I look through the pictures this year, there are faces missing that I wish could be here. New friends and old friends. My mom and Michelle who graciously make the drive every single year. Friends that God has brought back to me. And, friends that are moving away. I can't help but be a little emotional out of gratitude for each of them, sentimental of the season and already knowing that I will miss having a few in my life because of geography. However, what I do know is that we all serve a faithful God! He orchestrated our lives to intertwine and I will be forever thankful!

To Blog

As you can see, I've continued to blog. At the beginning of the year, I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do. This blog wasn't really what I was thinking it would turn out to be, but God has been showing me that what I want and expect ministry to look like, isn't usually what He has for me. So, I took a little break, but in the end, I realized that I really like this place. A few of you encouraged me through and I realized that its my outlet for writing. I love it. I can journal issues that are too personal for the world and here is a place for me to share my thoughts. I also realized as I was searching on here for a recipe, that I love being able to look back at life. I think just letting myself "off the hook" that this has to look a certain way has really brought perspective and freedom. I may not blog every week or even every month, but its here when I want it to be. :)

Love Well

Single Awareness Day.

For so many years, this holiday we celebrate was dreaded. I saw it creep up on the calendar and it mocked me. It was a day that I just wanted to get through. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I told my dad not to send me flowers to work because it would make a scene. I wanted to skip the embarrassment of being single. The first time I heard this holiday called “Single Awareness Day”, I was sitting at church, alone. And, it made me laugh. It’s so true. If you have never been single on Valentine’s Day, then you have no idea what I’m talking about. But, if you have, then you know exactly what I mean. It’s like you have a huge sign on your forehead that reads, “please feel sorry for me b/c everyone knows that no one “loves” me today”. You have no date. You aren’t invited to parties. And, even churches host dinners that you must be a couple in order to attend. It’s very apparent that you are, in fact, single.

But the truth is, the longer I’m married the more couples I meet who do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Some husbands think it’s a waste of money and that it’s a gimmick for companies to make money. Some aren’t happily married and just want the day to go away so they don’t have to feel like all the hearts are rubbing it their face that their relationship is a failure. Some are like me and just don’t want to stand in line for dinner or drop hundreds of dollars to know my husband loves me. And, some are like my husband who thinks that he should love me well everyday and not just specifically on a day that society tells him he should. 

What we all have in common is that we each want to be noticed and loved.

No matter the situation, feeling left out is unbearable. It makes you feel like no one wants you. We all want to be wanted, sought after, longed for. We all want someone to think we are a big deal. 

For us, Valentine’s has evolved. Our first Valentine’s Day we were dating, I made the mistake of telling KP that I don’t care about celebrating the holiay. What I really meant was that I don’t want to celebrate it the way society tells we should: reservations, long lines at restaurants for over-priced food, flowers that the florist has raised the price on just b/c its Valentine’s Day, or expensive gifts (because we seriously just had Christmas). My poor husband took that to mean, “Awesome! My wife doesn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, so it’s just going to be like a regular, normal day.” What I didn’t realize is that he would just ignore the day completely. So, after a few years of trial and communication (I don’t see any part of it as “error”), I think we have figured it out. 

Well, he has figured me out. 

I love holidays. Any holiday (except Halloween). So I want to celebrate every holiday in some fashion. For me Valentine’s is making Cream Cajun Chicken Pasta and KP’s favorite cheesecake and having a quiet night at home. It means cards and boxes of candy. It means recognizing our love and making a big deal out of each other.

This day looks differently for everyone. Whatever it’s been in the past, we can each start this year by making the most of it because ultimately, shouldn’t we be loving all people well?

I wish I had looked for ways to love well. The world is full of people hurting and who just want to be noticed and loved. You may not realize, but there are people walking around avoiding eye-contact because they don’t want anyone to recognize that they feel unloved. There are those that will put on a smile and act like today is no different than any other, but deep down they truly want someone to make a big deal out of them. This year, I incorporated small gestures for those I love. Today isn’t just about celebrating KP and me; it’s about celebrating all the people I love. Taking an extra step to show them and maybe even make them feel like they are a “big deal” to me. 

Married women, I want you to know that there are singles out there longing to be noticed. Taking them to lunch or buying them a coffee will make their day. A card could possibly relieve some tension of the “single awareness”. Love them well. 

Singles, there are married women who have husbands that think today is Hallmark’s way of making money. They long to be noticed as much as you do. An animated Valentine with a sucker can change their day and give them hope. Love them well. 

Whether you are a hopeless romantic and absolutely LOVE today, or you are someone just trying to make it through the day, I encourage you to look around. Love the people God puts in your path today. Even if it’s the smallest gesture, like a smile, it can make someone’s day. 

I love that KP celebrates this holiday just because I want to celebrate it. But, what I love more is that he wants to love me well every single day. It’s more important for him to love me daily and not just make me a big deal on a holiday. It’s something that I can learn from. It’s more important to celebrate love every day. Loving others sets us apart from the world so that Jesus is seen in our lives and is glorified.

No matter what today holds for you, you can be thankful for a God who pursues you. The God who loved you so much, He sent His own Son to take your place. He gave each of us life! He loves so perfectly we can’t even comprehend the depth of it. 

You are lovable. You are treasured. You are precious. You are loved. 

Because you know this, go out and love well.

Fantasy World

Today, I took a trip down memory lane with my best friend from college, Rachel. She and I were opposites in the fact that she went to class and never skipped and studied like a good-college-student should. Now, I went to class, especially if attendance was taken. However, I did my fair share of skipping when it was nice outside or snowy outside or I "accidentally" over-slept or just whatever. I did study, but just not as much as Rachel.

There were days that I thought she should venture out into my world. On those days, I made sure she didn't have anything due in class or any quizzes/tests that she would be taking or getting a study guide for (and that it wasn't a class she would lose points for missing). I had a lot to look into. haha! :) After assessing her schedule, I would "kidnap" her. Sometimes, I would lure her into the truck THINKING she was going to class and then I'd just start driving...not to campus. Other times, I'd just tell her that today she was going to be kidnapped and she just needed to get into the truck.

I loved these days!! And, I know Rachel did too. She probably was stressed out for a little while, but then I knew she enjoyed our trips.

These were some of the best memories from college! :)

Here is a compilation of ALL the places we went when I kidnapped her in our 4 years of college:

1st stop - Shortcakes. A hole in the wall (actually it looks like a trailer) 24/7 place. We started here with a breakfast full of pancakes!!!

2nd stop - Sonic. We needed drinks for the road.

3rd stop - Shawnee, OK. Not sure why we chose to go here, other than it was only an hour away and we'd never been. My brother and his wife when to college here and I THINK we stopped to see my friend, Jayme, who was in school at the time.

4th stop - Since gas prices and time are irrelevant in our fantasy today, we drove back to Stillwater to eat chinese food at Still China. This and Hunan were a staple for us and our roommates in college.

5th stop - Dessert, at Rachel's request!!! Since calories are not relevant either, we decided to go to Goldie's (where she worked in college) for cobbler and ice cream. (We also loved the apple pie at El Chico!)

6th stop - OKC Zoo. Yep, we went there once! And, we took pictures with every statue! :) We even closed the place down. I'm sure we made a detour to Del City to see our friend, Jen and her husband Bob too.

7th stop - Perkins, OK. We'd go to dinner at the Prairie's Edge or the mexican food restaurant.

8th stop - Movies. Late night at the incredibly expensive movie theater that was falling apart and didn't have student prices...or the $1 Show that was only open for a year while we were in school.

9th stop - An after mid-night trip to Walmart. Not because we needed anything, but just to walk every aisle and talk about what we wanted. We usually left with a new movie or CD or some kind of horrible snack food.

10th and final stop - Our dorm room on the 11th floor (Rachel, can you smell the elevators? ICK! And, then I'd click my tongue really loudy and deafen the both of us!) or our house on Ramsey or the dilapidated house on Duncan. We'd order a pizza from Pizza Shuttle at 2am (do the pizza drop to get all the grease off) and then stay up watching movies with our other roommates.

What great college days!!!! I will always treasure the time I had with my friends. I wish I could remember all the crazy things we did and all the little moments that are long forgotten. Where was blogging in the 90's???

A New Year

Its almost half way through January and I'm just sitting to write this. Its not that I'm "behind", just that I haven't really had the words. I've been mulling over this topic since sometime in December and I'm still not sure how to start or finish. So, I'm just going to start...

Every new year, I find myself trying to come up with ways to be an incredible blogger. To use it as a ministry and write to help others. Then it just ends up being a "scrapbook" of sorts telling everyone what has hapened each month or new recipes or photo-shoots I've done...and occassionally having a blog worth reading, that is more along the lines of how I want to write. Even my "tradition" of 30 Days of Thankfulness didn't get finished this year.

In December, I started really evaluating why I blog and if its something I want to even do anymore. I so enjoy reading other blogs, but this last year it has been a chore to keep up with mine. I realized I don't have to blog to read others. I just feel defeated every year when I look back at my blog. I'm not a photog blogger, even though I'd love to carry my camera around and document every little thing I do. I'm not a mommy-blogger. I'm not a food blogger. And, I'm not a ministry blogger. I realized I use it just to scrapbook my life.

I enjoy the "scrapbook" aspect of it because I used to REALLY scrapbook. Blogging makes it easier b/c downloading pictures is much easier and cost-efficient. Plus, I can write and describe more of what is going on than scrapbooking really allows. Plus, with the invention of Shutterfly, I ever need to print, cut, sticker, or assemble pictures again. I love that I was able to use the blog to "scrapbook" every detail of my wedding and all the planning, but I'm not sure scrapbooking is something that I'm willing to continue blogging for.

Now I had the question looming, "Do I want to keep blogging or just give it up?"

Its hard to give something up that I've enjoyed in the past. But, if I continued, I wanted to be able to write and be real and talk about tough topics. I wanted it to be ministry! However, at this time in our lives, this isn't possible for me. There are some topics and life changes that have occurred that just aren't making the blog. I wish that I could be completely transparent on here like so many bloggers are, but I don't know how to do that and be respectful of people in my life. So for now, I'm having to let that go.

To release the inner-writer in me, I've picked up journaling again. Its a way that I can truly write out what I want to talk about that is a more private setting. Its not touching peoples' lives like I would want it to, but maybe there will come a day when God calls me to use it.

I truly feel called to ministry and am seeking God on how that will look and His timing. I've had the desire to blog to "make a difference" until He was ready to do more with me. However, I now know that this isn't where He wants me to use my voice. I think so many of us women just want to have purpose and to leave a legacy. We struggle to find that niche. It looks different for us all. And, I'm learning that I am not called to be like my favorite bloggers. I see them touching lives and I want to be there too, but the blogging world isn't my niche.

As of right now, I'm not turning my blog "off". I just see it differently. I may not blog every month. I may not have interesting blogs. I may blog just for me. I may post a million pictures of my sweet puppies. And, there may be times that I actually blog something that is meaningful. But, as 2013 begins, I've come to terms that this isn't a place for me to be transparent. It makes me a little sad b/c if you know me at all, you know I'm brutally honest about my life. I love sharing my life in hopes that it might help just one person. I've come to terms that God has a specific place for that and its not through blogging.

The hardest part for me is to sit in a "holding patter". In limbo. In a "waiting room" (awesome sermon...take a listen!). I want to be making a difference, but I know that I don't need to CREATE my own circumstances of ministry, but get to work where God has me right now. I need to seek ministry where I am, not create what I want it to look like. The ministry God is calling me to is not to blog to thousands of women that I may never meet, but to be seeking out the handful that are around me right now.

As I start this new year, I'm going to be looking for where God wants me to serve and not trying to make something work in an area that I think I should be doing ministry. I want to refocus my desire to where He wants me and not where I selfishly want to be. So, I will get to work in my "waiting room".

Lowe Family 2012

I'm pretty sure every time I get to take pictures of the Lowe's I tell you that I love seeing this family grow, but its true! Having serve in the college ministry as an "adult" and seeing these two be leaders while in college to now having a family of their own is such a blessing. I'm humbled that I get to watch as God grows them!!!!

Holland Family 2012

Again, this fall was just so gorgeous and the botanical gardens set a great background for this OSU couple. It was a beautiful day and I had a great time catching up with friends.

 

One of my favorite things about this couple is that she takes a few pictures in her wedding dress every year. Here are just a few!!!