Introvert vs. Extrovert

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? This can potentially answer a lot of questions about you and any person you have a relationship with (parents, child, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, or friend). Let me tell you the difference between the two:

Introvert -

~content working alone without being interrupted by people
~know they are loved and accepted when allowed space and time for quiet
~energy decreases and drains during sustained interaction with others
~need to be charged up after being with people
~rehearse their thoughts before saying them aloud
~shy, reserved, reflective
~have a few close friend with whom they like to share their feelings (this is not social discomfort, its just a social preference)
~keep their thoughts to themselves
~procrastinate when its time to be with people
~enjoy self-reflection
~enjoy solitary activities (reading, hiking, fishing, etc)
~like to observe before participating
~wear practical and comfortable clothing
~in a work setting, they tend to have very few decorations and set up their workspace so that it is not visitor-friendly
*I definitely think this is worth noting: Wikipedia states, "Introversion is not the same as being shy or being a social outcast. Introverts prefer solitary activities over social ones, whereas shy people (who may be extraverts at heart) avoid social encounters out of fear, and the social outcast has little choice in the matter of his or her solitude."

How to best communicate with an introvert:
1. Ask, then listen
2. Give time for them to reflect on the issue
3. Be patient.

Introvert Actions!
1. Let others know you are "there" and what you need from them.
2. Know that some people can misinterpret your silence and jump to conclusions because of it.
3. When situations are rushed or there are lots of interruptions, make sure to still give feedback and not get lost in the moment. Watch your attitude and don't get angry with people. Its okay to ask for others to repeat or just take a break.

Extrovert -

~demands spouse's attention and responsiveness
~energy increases as they interact with people
~charged up by being with people
~talk first and think later
~don't mind being interrupted by phone calls
~can do several things at once
~need affirmation from friends about who they are, what they do, and how they look
~don't keep their thoughts to themselves
~procrastinates when it comes to projects that require silence
~enjoy human interaction
~talkative
~enjoy large social gatherings
~wear decorative clothing
~in a work setting, they tend to decorate their office, leave their door open with chairs available, and have candy ready for visitors

How to communicate with the extravert:
1. Let them talk!
2. Add variety
3. Keep a lively pace

Extravert Actions!
1. Know that your actions can be very overwhelming to other people.
2. Make a conscious effort to slow down, allow silence, ask for others' opinions and then LISTEN!
3. Before moving to another topic, ask for input.

There seem to be very few that are actually one or the other (wikipedia reports that each only report about 16% of the population). Most people actually tend to me ambiverts, which is a balance of the two. These are the people that enjoy social interaction and being in groups, but they also relish the time they get to be alone.

No matter what we all are, these are great traits for each of us to keep in mind. At first, its fun and comical to figure out what people are. However, it really comes in handy when we interact with people. It gives us insight to each other so we can be the most effective in our relationships. It helps us to approach people correctly. It helps us extend grace to each other. But, most of all, it builds on the foundation of our relationships. When we seek to know the other person, we can serve them best, if we know how they might respond.

Be careful not to stereotype. People can (and will) always surprise you, especially those who respond differently depending on the circumstance. Just pay attention to their consistent character. You will see a pattern and will then be able to respond accordingly. This is not an overnight process. It takes time! But, if we truly love one another, then we should really take the time to know a person. If we love as God does, we should WANT to know the person.

Take time today to dig deeper into a particular relationship (if you're married, I highly suggest you start with your spouse). Knowing them and serving them in a way that is intentional will speak volumes!

(Information came from "How to Get Along with Almost Anyone" by H. Norman Wright; wikipedia.com "extraversion and introversion"; http://www.melbabenson.com/articles_files/I%20and%20E%20at%20Work.pdf ).

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