Patience

I read a blog today that described patience as "waiting without complaining".

WOW! I need a minute, please. Um....okay. Waiting for something without complaining. What exactly does "complaining" mean????

Complaining = "to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault". (www.dictionary.com)

Do I do this? Express dissatisfaction? Pain? Uneasiness? Censure? Resentment? Grief? Find fault? Um, yes.

Express = "to put (thought) into words; utter or state" or "to set forth the opinions, feelings, etc., of (oneself), as in speaking, writing, or painting". (www.dictionary.com)

I looked up the definition of "express" b/c I have this idea in my head that when I'm complaining, it doesn't include over-analyzing or just talking....its just when I'm really mad and need to vent, right? Hmmm.....

Do I speak my opinions and feelings of dissatisfaction? Pain? Uneasiness? Censure? Resentment? Grief? Or even outspokenly blame others?

Sadly, yes. I feel like I have been doing that even more lately. I'm not very patient with life right now, and I'm finding A LOT to complain about. What is the root of the problem? That I'm not trusting God to take care of me, my husband, our future.

When is it okay to vent? When is it okay to ask for advice in a situation? Is it ever okay to do these things? When does it carry over into being considered as “complaining”?

I think there are times that I definitely need to vent…to get things off my chest. Lately, I’ve been really convicted to bring those things to the Lord and not call every single friend I have. When I start calling people, I’m looking for them to take “my side”, which in actuality is me complaining. That’s not godly and not a characteristic that I want to have. I do believe it is also okay to ask someone for advice. BUT, I believe that we have to be very careful that the conversation doesn’t cross over into “complaining”….which for me is very easy to do sometimes. It needs to be a conversation that glorifies God and brings spiritual growth.

When have I gone too far?

I believe that I take my complaining too far when the circumstance is all I can talk about. When I bring up the same thing over and over in many different conversations. Hashing it out every 5 seconds isn’t going to make the situation immediately change…and its definitely not going to me feel better, nor is it glorifying God.

Its easy to complain in this world. The world teaches that we should have what we want, when we want it. There’s no reason to wait for anything. And if something isn’t going our way, then we should just get mad and demand that it changes. I’m guilty of this. I get very frustrated when life-circumstances don’t meet my expectations. That frustration leads to anger. That anger leads to me putting up walls. And those walls put a barrier between people I encounter and showing them God’s love.

Plain and simple: I have a heart-problem. I need to pray that God will change my HEART! Sometimes our minds are too hard to change until we really allow God to work on our hearts. Sometimes, I like to live in my flesh and just be mad. My heart is what needs to change. This is the hardest for me, especially when I know that I’m right. I’m learning that God doesn’t call me to be the Holy Spirit for other people….that’s His job! (Shocker! I know!). He calls me to LOVE THEM! That’s it…whether I like that answer or not. Love. No more, no less.

I still think boundaries are important. Some relationships and situations definitely need certain boundaries. After godly boundaries are set, we must learn to love, extend grace, and represent Christ within the boundaries.

Where does complaining get us? Nowhere. We end up alone with a lot of broken relationships. We end up bitter. And, worst of all, we have broken fellowship with our Creator and Savior.

The answer?

Dictionary.com says that the antonym for "complain" is "rejoice". What's funny is that all of my little complaints have lessened this month. And, as I sit here and think about that, I realize that I have been rejoicing MUCH more since starting the "30 Days of Thankfulness". All the little problems just fade away when we start looking for the blessings in life. Its amazing how much my perspective has changed this month just by focusing on how God has graciously blessed my life.

Let’s start focusing on the blessings in our lives instead of what we can’t “fix”. Prayerfully take to God our dissatisfaction, our pain, our uneasiness, our censure, our resentment, and our grief. God can handle it all. Choose to rejoice!